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I think the most important is that women know how to handle themselves in situations like this. We don’t even need to worry that a drink is spiked. Many girls end up half-drunk because they drink anyway and they think they are in safe hands.
The main thing is being able to detect whether the date is trustworthy or not.
The truth is that when they end up in places like pubs and such, they are already setting themselves up to a certain level of risk.
Some guys do hang out there for the sole purpose of picking up girls. Sometimes, girls who like the attention end up falling prey to them.
On the other hand, I think girls are not as vulnerable as we may imagine. Most of them are there to socialize and those who do know their limits usually handle their alcohol very well.
They probably know how to make a choice and take care of themselves.
The problem becomes real when they are off-balance in their lives and turn to night life to distract them from pressing personal issues.
Stuart Tan
I'm sure it's happening everyday, at some place or other. This isn't new to club-goers. All of us are aware of the possibility of being drugged. It's therefore very important to stay sober. You never know when your usual clubbing gang might drug your drink.
If it happens to anyone, how should s/he react to the happenings the night before? Can s/he make a police report and ensure that sexual offender be caught? It's the stigma of being a rape victim. Would they be able to handle the social peer pressure upon them to see out the trial of the offender?
In actual fact, a lot of rapes go unreported. I genuinely feel that it's because of the labeling of the "rape victim". It's difficult for the victim to stand forward & identify and punish the offender.
Often, the general public would apportion part of the crime to the victim. Was the victim's dressing provocative and asking for it?
It's never easy to indict a sexual offender that was being identified by the victims, not to mention those let off scot-free; when the victims don't make a report.
In short, if the unfortunate happens to anyone. They should take note not to bathe as that would destroy any biological evidence by the offender.
Such information should be conveyed to the younger generation of today to warn them. They should also take extra care to not accept drink offers from strangers and be wary of suspicious-looking strangers.
Be aware, rather than sorry.
Valerie Koh Poh Lian
You term DATE RAPE in a way that the victim is unconscious (after having a spiked drink) when events happened. Looking into this aspect, I believe date rapes are NOT just urban legend.
In Singapore, I do believe this MIGHT happen, but it is not very common. Probably this is MORE common in our neighbouring countries (Malaysia / Indonesia) where such drugs are easier to come by.
Another of perception that I have on DATE RAPE is
DATE = a meeting you had arranged with someone
RAPE = is sex that you are being forced into (when you are conscious). You had arranged to meet up with someone and was eventually forced into having sex.
In this perception, which then I agree that DATE RAPE is very common in Singapore. Many females who are not street-smart or who are young in age, meet new friends and sex comes along in a way they did not foresee. (probably planned or not planned)
The victim could be taken aback or do not know how to react to the situation and if THEY ARE NOT PERSISTENT enough to reject, they will be DATE RAPE (so as to say).
In this case, usually they WILL NOT report against the Rapist. The reason is simple, it was a date they had agreed on. They feel that they are partial to be at fault. Unless, it was even after strong rejection yet the rapist use violent ways to RAPE the victim.
Aries Seira
Date rape is SUCH an important and sensitive topic - I am really glad that you are doing something on it. As an educator of young people in their late teens, I can tell you how ignorant they can be of such dangers and how devastating such an incident can be on their personal and academic lives.
Please continue to take up such topics that need to be highlighted. And do go beyond just airing it on CNA... why not send out information to secondary schools, Junior Colleges and Polytechnics that you are doing such a show?
Suja Thomas
Well about this date rape. It all depends on the individual. Too much trust shouldn't be placed to people whom we just met. I wouldn't say that this is an urban legend. Such things still do happen nowadays. Especially amongst gals.
Gals are easily manipulate by sweet words. Some dates(men) may appear decent and very complying to what the ladies want. The men will be a sweetie to the ladies. Afterwhich, the sweetie will turn into something sour or bitter.
I think all ladies out there should practise more care when they are in contact with a new date or even a date of a few months. We will never know what will happen to us.
Do be more firm and a little bit aggressive if things go overboard. For example, if your date offers you a drink, you may just reject by saying "sorry I don't drink".
If the man respects you, he wouldn't force you into anything that you wouldn't do. When you aren't careful and end up being raped instead, it ain't cool. By then, it'll be pointless to regret.
Juliana Bte Tukiman
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