Tay Ping Hui has his wedding all planned out
By Favian Ng, channelnewsasia.com | Posted: 30 November 2009 0935 hrs

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SINGAPORE: There's a saying that goes, "Once a soldier, always a soldier". Well, this couldn't be more apt when describing MediaCorp actor Tay Ping Hui.

No, Tay is not planning a mid-life career switch - he is set to renew his contract with MediaCorp "in a few weeks' time" - rather, it was the vivid description of his wedding preparation that left me convinced that he has not entirely tuned out of National Service mode.

Though the eligible bachelor isn't going to tie the knot just yet, I feel compelled to alert his prospective bride that he has his big day all planned out - military style.

"I view my marriage as a mission for an assault," said the former battalion reconnaissance officer during his National Service days.

"Yes, seriously, you actually have your mission statement and your objectives," he added. "Your objective is to conquer the wife. You have your troops and you have to give your ops order. Who's going to be your driver, there are going to be a lot of logistics involved. For me, it is like planning for an assault in the army."

The 39-year-old actor believes that this form of 'army preparation' is the best way to approach his big day as it ensures that nothing will be left out.

Though he did not reveal if he has a 'target' in sight, he hopes that this day will arrive soon.

"Soon, I hope. I want to have children. I'm not getting any younger [so] I should sign the contract while my equipment (paused and corrected himself), my factory is still working. I should do that soon," Tay replied when I asked when he will be making a trip to the Registry of Marriages.

Though Tay plays a wedding planner in upcoming Channel 8 drama, "New Beginnings", he admits that he does not have in-depth knowledge of wedding customs and traditions.

"I do have an understanding of the customs on generic Chinese culture. But there are different traditions when it comes to Hokkien, Teochew and Cantonese customs."

He shared with me some of the unique practices he learnt from reading the script, and the one that really stood out for me involved chicks and a bed.

"There are two live chickens, one male and one female. They are called the ying lu ji (where the chickens are supposed to lead the way). After you get married, you are supposed to put them under your bed, and whichever emerges from the other side of the bed first will signify the sex of the first child. I think it's quite fascinating, isn't it?" Tay chuckled.

Would he do something similar?

"I don't know. I don't think I want to have two live chickens in my marriage," he said.

Though he has his doubts about the chickens, Tay is a believer that everything has their representation and the fundamental rule of marriage is prosperity, happiness and everlasting love.

"I've learned to respect that [even though] you have your doubts [and] it's not exactly practical, it's something that we could know," said the actor.

Though many customs do not fare well on the practicality scale, there are a few must-dos on Tay's list.

"For example, my prospective wife would have to serve tea to my parents. It's a sign of respect and acceptance in the family," explained Tay. But getting a suckling pig and cutting off its ear before returning to the bride's family home, well, that's something he can do without.

"My wedding would be the middle road between practicality and customs. That's if I ever get married," he said.

His dream wedding will be similar to his personality - simple but sophisticated.

"There will not be a rowdy crowd where everybody gets drunk and turns the wedding into a wild orgy. It would be respectful, sophisticated, simple and not complicated.

"Most importantly, it has to be in a nice place. I wouldn't want it to be too big, or publicised. It's not really the quantity of the people but the quality of the people that I would have," he said.

And there won't be any fancy outfits for him either as he plans to stick to just one suit and let his wife be the star of the night.

"For me, if my future wife wants to change 10,000 outfits, it's really up to her. She can wear the cheongsam, gown. It's really her choice. But for me, as far as I'm concern, I'm going to wear one suit for the entire wedding (laughs). Honestly, we are the accessory. I know where my place is in the wedding. The groom is the accessory. The night belongs to the bride," the charismatic actor said.

"I'm not going to change. I'm not going to fight for attention. I'm just going to be the arm she holds on to."

Though he doesn't intend to do an 'Andy Lau' and keep his marriage a secret, he knows he doesn't have much control over it as the public is sure to find out sooner or later.

"If I do get married, I'm sure everybody will know about it. I might not have huge publicity but I'm sure everybody will know. I will not hide my wife somewhere." - CNA/fa