SINGAPORE: You might not care very much, but by now your Facebook feed or pop culture-obsessed best friend has probably informed you about the breakup of American popstar Taylor Swift and British actor Tom Hiddleston.
Yes, TayTom/Hiddleswift/Swiddleston is no longer an item after a three-month whirlwind romance, played out to a large extent in the public eye. Possible reasons for their conscious uncoupling have been splashed all over the tabloid press, with some saying the relationship has become a total charade and Hiddleston is sick of being treated like a glorified escort. Others proclaim it was Swift who put the brakes on fame-hungry Hiddleston when he wanted their relationship to go more public and that she feared he is in love with the "idea" of her.
While we may never know the truth behind their "tragic" split, we reckon looking back to try to figure out what happened since that completely unstaged, paparazzi-photographed, lip-locking frolic on those slippery Rhode Island rocks back in June is not necessarily the most productive way to spend time.
Instead, let's do something much more fun. Rather than discuss whether it was distance, a public backlash or intense scrutiny that came between the attention-seeking pair, let’s look forward into Swift’s romantic future.
Why? Because, as history has shown, things always seem to have a way of moving swiftly along in the Grammy-winning superstar’s world. To be fair, Swift, known for writing hit records about the ghosts of all her boyfriends past, will no doubt be too busy putting all her anguish about Hiddleston into song to think much about her next celebrity beau.
Which is why we’re offering our help and presenting her with five ideal candidates we reckon would be a good romantic match for the reigning queen of pop and her dating predilections. It’s purely for our own tongue-in-cheek amusement, of course. But who knows? Maybe one of the pairings might really happen. Because we all know when it comes to romance, Taylor Swift can’t and won’t be keeping it Loki (low-key) for too long. After all, she's unabashedly a “new romantic”.
"SWOOLING": TAYLOR SWIFT AND JOSEPH SCHOOLING
Taylor Swift has never publicly dated an athlete. Neither has she dated an Asian, let alone a Singaporean. So who better than Joseph Schooling to achieve another couple of firsts after securing Singapore's first-ever Olympic gold medal at Rio 2016? The swimmer made a splash all over the world when he powered his way to glory in the 100m butterfly, leaving his idol, the most decorated Olympian of all time, Michael Phelps trailing in his wake.
That singular competitive spirit and drive should see him do very well in a race for the popstar’s heart and affections. Sure, at 21 years old, the Olympian, who is currently enrolled at the University of Texas at Austin, might seem a tad too young for 26-year-old Swift, but look at what they have in common. Swift’s mother grew up in Singapore and Swift herself has many a time profusely declared her love for our little red dot on Instagram, in concerts and on her T-shirt.
We look forward to seeing a playful smooch over a plate of chye tow kueh at Schooling's favourite hawker stall.
"TAYLEO" OR "TAYNARDO": TAYLOR SWIFT AND LEONARDO DICAPRIO
He’s a triple-A-list movie star, a former teen heartthrob, an eco-warrior and, as of this year, a Best Actor Oscar winner. On paper, Leonardo DiCaprio ticks all the boxes of who should be the perfect match for one of the most popular pop stars on the planet, so why doesn’t Taylor Swift try him on for size?
At 41 years of age, he's maybe what she needs - an older, wiser man who’s been there, done that, and got the t-shirt (that doesn’t say 'I heart T.S.'). Plus, everyone knows DiCaprio has a definite type: Tall. Blonde. Leggy. Model-esque. Sounds exactly like someone we know…
"SWIFTLEE": TAYLOR SWIFT AND LEE MIN HO
With K-Pop apparently taking over the the world, maybe it's time that Swift did a little bit of Seoul searching for her next date. And who better than Lee Min Ho?
At 29 years, Lee is the ideal age for Swift. The ridiculously popular award-winning South Korean actor, singer and model (who first gained huge fame with the drama Boys Over Flowers) can also bond with the American singer over the intense pressure of idolatry and fame, as well as having a similar romantic history of leaving a trail of broken hearts.
That said, he has matured over the years, reportedly saying in a recent Korean interview that he believes that a real man has to be responsible for what he has said and has to be honest with his words. When asked whether he is feeling blissful, he says that blissfulness is not only measured by his own happiness. The other party should feel blissful when she is with him.
Aw shucks, seems like the Korean hunk is exactly what the American pop princess needs right now.
"DRIFT": TAYLOR SWIFT AND DRAKE
Continuing with the theme of introducing something new into Swift’s dating roster, we think the Canadian rapper-singer-songwriter-record producer-actor might be best qualified to bring an end to her romantic restlessness.
After all, with matching resumes, similar sensitive soul personalities and staggering pop chart success, they are a match made in heaven. We know that Drake is reportedly currently dating Rihanna, the other pop princess superstar. But this possible pairing might just be little bit more spicy and sensational.
The key tabloid photo op? Sharing a slice of lovely Pound Cake while snuggling up for One Dance.
"T-DRAGON": TAYLOR SWIFT AND G-DRAGON
He’s androgynous. He’s defiant. He’s unabashedly in-your-face. And he eschews what being a boy-bander is all about, despite being in a boy band.
G-Dragon, the lead singer of Korea's sensational Big Bang, might just be what Swift is looking for, even if they don’t speak the same language. According to interviews over the years, G-Dragon’s ideal type of girl is one who is “like a cat”.
“I like girls who have both looks and personalities like cats. I’m attracted to girls who run away when I try to catch them, but approach me and throw themselves in my arms when I stop trying. Someone I can lean on. Someone who can control me from above? I like girls who are fierce and strong. At least when I’m in love, I want to be able to have someone to lean on and rest with,” he reportedly said.
Now what’s that we constantly see on Taylor Swift’s Instagram and Twitter accounts? Oh yeah, pictures of her cats - Meredith and Olivia Benson - and proclamations of how much she loves those felines. ‘Nuff said.