'Part of me wishes I never retired': Former dodgeball stalwart reflects on life after sport

SINGAPORE — It was August 2018. The stage was New York City’s Madison Square Garden, the same 19,500-seater arena where the likes of Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan once competed in, but Neoh Yi Hui and his intrepid teammates weren't overawed.

Singapore's mixed dodgeball team were one step away from making history, taking on a bigger and more powerful South African outfit, a side that spanked them 12-4 in an earlier round, for a spot in the World Invitational mixed final at the World Cup.

After a fierce 30-minute battle of skill, strategy and athleticism, it was the unheralded Singapore team that prevailed 12-4, turning the tables on the South Africans for a final date with Japan.

Singapore eventually lost 11-17 to Japan in the final, but Mr Neoh and his teammates had already etched their names in the history books. It was the first time Singapore had finished on the podium.

Mr Neoh recalls his teammates rushing towards him, tears of jubilance in their eyes.

These scenes often get replayed in his mind but he will never get to relive them again. He retired as a dodgeball player in February 2022, 12 years after it all began. He left the Dodgeball Association of Singapore (DAS), too.

“The first few days of waking up after retiring, it hit me quite hard that I’m really out of the scene,” said Mr Neoh. 

Each day had a clear purpose before — be it training or attending team meetings — but now the empty spaces on his calendar made him feel "lost".

“It was one of the hardest things I had to do because I really loved the sport,” he said.

He loved it so much that he had helped to build the scene in Singapore where there was none, playing a key role in starting the DAS, paying for expenses out of his own pocket when the sport had zero funding.

The 38-year-old spoke to this reporter at a park in Kovan on Tuesday (April 9), a week after former national swimmer Joseph Schooling hung up his goggles for good.

Mr Neoh's reasons for retiring were similar. He felt he could no longer keep up with the younger athletes. “Physically, I may not be able to ‘bring it’ as much,” he said.

But coming to terms with that decision was not easy at first.

In the weeks after he walked away from dodgeball, everything reminded him of the sport, and reminiscing about the glory days like those in 2018 was a regular occurrence.

He is largely at peace with the decision now, but the feeling of wanting to compete never really goes away.

“The ‘player’ part of me wishes I never retired. Your body still really wants in.

“But sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and let it go, and try to think of other ways to help the sport,” he said.

This initial reluctance to fully let go is not surprising, considering that for many athletes, their journey had been paved with heaps of memories and personal sacrifices. 

For Mr Neoh, the absence of dodgeball hits harder because of what the game means to him.

‘HANTAM BOLA’ TO DODGEBALL STALWART

As a kid he used to pack ping pong and tennis balls into his backpack some 30 years ago, eagerly awaiting the ring of the school bell to rush to the courtyard for a game of hantam bola ("hitting with a ball" in Malay) with his buddies.  

The rules of hantam bola were simple enough: Hit your opponent with a ball and you’ll eliminate them. Catch a thrown ball and revive a teammate. Your team wins if the opponents are all eliminated. 

Dodgeball is largely the same, played by teams comprising six players a side, but it has more rules. 

It is also a game that can be played by anyone, even if its players have their own shortcomings. 

These are what drew Mr Neoh to it when he first started out in 2010.

“In primary school, I wanted to play basketball but my coach said I was too short,” he said, adding that such superficial requirements don’t exist in dodgeball.

“In dodgeball, even if you can’t throw a ball, you can always contribute to the offence by catching a ball, drawing the opponent’s attention, or dodging. You can do so many things… We cover each other this way.

“That’s why our team in Singapore comprises so many different types of people with different strengths.

“It really gives everyone — of different shapes and sizes — a chance to play.”

This desire to provide a sport for society’s keen misfits to compete in was what drove Mr Neoh to give his all to dodgeball, helping to raise its profile along the way.

Over 12 years, Mr Neoh racked up accolade after accolade in local and international tournaments for both his club, Outkast International, and country.

He did so all while wearing multiple hats — player, head coach, president of the DAS. But admittedly, he wasn’t always sure that his struggles would pay off.

He doesn't earn a single cent from playing. The DAS does not pay those who represent the national team, nor do they win prize money for the tournaments they participate in.

“My father called me stupid. I left my full-time job that was paying quite well to run the DAS full time, with no pay, for six to eight years,” he said, adding that he took up odd jobs and did freelance coaching to get by. 

“My wife and I also decided to put plans for our family, like having a baby, on hold. That’s another couple of years of not taking care of ourselves, not going on extended holidays, just so we could take care of the team.”

He confessed to never being there for his family on weekends due to training.

Furthermore, as the DAS is not recognised as one of the 70 official National Sports Associations, funding for the dodgeball team was often hard to come by.

Mr Neoh, who did not grow up in a rich family, estimates that he had used “six figures” of his own money to push the game to greater heights in Singapore.

This included the cost of running local events, sending teams overseas for tournaments, and other miscellaneous things like jerseys and equipment.

There were times when he had a meagre S$50 to his name.

“S$50 in a full-grown man’s bank account,” he remarked with a chuckle and quiet disbelief.

“I was so down, man”.

LIFE AFTER RETIREMENT

Although Mr Neoh has a keen interest in many sports (he still plays basketball and bowling, and kayaks on a regular basis), dodgeball holds a special place in his heart. 

It was why when he decided to quit, it took him a few weeks to cope with his decision. The turning point, he said, came when he “dug deep into my soul”.

After years of sacrifices, he and his wife — then the head coach of Hong Kong’s national dodgeball team — realised that they had accomplished most of what they had set out to achieve.

So it dawned upon him that it was “time for us to take care of ourselves and give ourselves a chance”. This meant giving time for other important facets of life.

There are many things that keep Mr Neoh busy these days. In addition to providing sports enrichment classes for children and being a freelance coach, he also runs a nutrition-focused dessert shop and gym based in Hong Kong together with his wife.

But Mr Neoh is not done with dodgeball just yet. A palpable tenacity exists in his otherwise jovial voice when asked about his goals for the country’s dodgeball scene.

To get consistent funding for the DAS. To run a tournament in a shopping mall to raise publicity. To legitimise dodgeball so others may one day play it professionally and for a living.

But for now, that isn’t quite the priority.

At his Sengkang flat, all the medals he had won over the years were stashed away to make room for the prize that has eluded him all these years — a baby boy. Mr Neoh and his wife are expecting their first child in June.

“The next drive for me is definitely family. I want to let my son know that daddy and mummy have been top athletes who did well,” he said.

“And hopefully, he gets some of our genes and can also be good.”