The Stories Behind: The wedding singer who also belts out cheerful songs at funerals to celebrate life

SINGAPORE — If you were to watch a video of 41-year-old Kit Teh and her band, wearing blue vests while singing Mandopop classics such as Grace Chang's Wo Yao Ni De Ai (I Want Your Love) and other upbeat tracks, you would likely assume they were performing for a live concert audience.

However, Ms Teh and her band, who are part of the Singapore Funeral Live Band, do not perform regular gigs on concert stages or in nightclubs.

My first meeting with Ms Teh was at a wake held at the void deck of a public housing block in Yew Tee.

I was not fully prepared for the jarring scene of the deceased person's relatives smiling, singing and clapping with the music in what, to my mind, was supposed to be a sombre and solemn event.

I was not the only one, because I noticed several bewildered onlookers staring from a distance with puzzlement at the juxtaposition of the funeral tentage and the happy-looking family.

So, I asked Ms Teh the question that was likely on all our minds: What on Earth was going on here?

The Malaysian, who has been working in Singapore for the past six years, said: "I don't think funerals need to always be a sad affair.

”Whether the grieving families are happy or sad, our performance is a way for them to release their emotions... it can be a celebration of the completion of life," she said in Mandarin.

Ms Teh is one of the vocalists in the Singapore Funeral Live Band, a company comprising several professional musicians who take up gigs at funerals and often receive requests from the family to perform songs that the deceased person had loved.

In April, a video posted by the band's employer on Instagram that depicted Ms Teh singing Wo Yao Ni De Ai at another funeral received mixed feedback from viewers.

Some people expressed hope that their eventual funeral could be a lively affair as well, but there were also many who questioned if it was appropriate to sing such songs at a funeral.

The video has been viewed more than 618,000 times and has garnered about 11,400 likes since it was published in April.

The negative reactions likely arose due to the taboo surrounding death and the expectation that one should grieve sadly, Ms Teh said.

Yet, in her experience as a funeral singer, she has found that there is more than one way for grieving families to come to terms with a loved one's passing, she added.

HOW BEST TO SAY GOODBYE

She came to this realisation a year ago when she attended the funeral of her friend's mother.

"My friend is a musician, so he took out his guitar and started playing for his mother as it was his way of showing his grief," she recalled.

"Several of us musicians decided to sing along and perform, and we realised how music can be an outlet to express our real and raw emotions."

They sang songs such as "When You're Old" by Hong Kong singer-actress Karen Mok, the deceased's favourite song. Till today, Ms Teh still remembers how relieved those attending the funeral looked while celebrating the woman's life with songs she loved.

At the time, Ms Teh did not only sing at funerals. Besides teaching music, she was, and still is, a singer at Musical Touch, a company that provides live music for weddings and events founded by Mr Alvin Khoo.

After that eye-opening funeral, Ms Teh decided to take up singing gigs at other funerals. 

Mr Khoo had decided to offer the services after attending a funeral where he realised some musicians were not professionally trained and would only play sad songs. However, many of the musicians in his company Musical Touch were not willing to sing at funerals.

Mr Khoo then created a separate company, which then came to be the Singapore Funeral Live Band, so that he could cater to this need.

"Most musicians I approached were not comfortable performing at funerals because of the taboo around death," he said, adding that some were also not comfortable performing religious rites as well.

"But we want to provide high-quality music at funerals that is engaging and allows families to have a send-off for their loved one as they would like."

As for Ms Teh, she said that she and her family and friends do not find it "pantang" (Malay for taboo) to sing happy songs at a funeral.

"Look at how everyone reacts to the music, and how at peace they feel after our performance. It's a celebration of life that also allows us to pay respects to our loved ones," she added.

CELEBRATING LIFE

At these funerals, friends and family of the deceased can share the microphone with Ms Teh and sing along, and they can also make song requests using cue cards.

There are no rules when it comes to people's responses to the songs, Ms Teh said. Bereaved family and friends may clap, dance, cry or do whatever allows them to let out their emotions.

"Performing in funerals is a bit tricky because I have to read the mood and understand what the family wants," she said.

"There's a range of possible emotions that you can't predict, so you have to go and perform whatever suits the family."

She added that the band has to be versatile to take on whatever songs the family requests, no matter the dialect or language.

As for what the most interesting request was, Ms Teh said that she was once asked to sing a birthday song.

"One of the family member's birthdays coincided with the funeral, so the family requested that we sing for them. It was really interesting, being at a funeral while celebrating different stages of life.

"Regardless of what request we get, we will do our best to follow the family's wishes," Ms Teh said.

As we spoke at the sidelines of the wake in Yew Tee where she was performing, Ms Teh occasionally got interrupted by family members who were attending event. They smiled at her and thanked her for her performance — a stark contrast to their grieving and solemn faces before the performance.

Ms Teh told me that such reactions are what keeps her going, and that she hopes to bring comfort to bereaved family members and friends by allowing them to grieve openly through music.

As I watched the family send off the casket of a man I never knew, I felt some kind of connection because I could relate to the songs that he called his favourites. 

After spending some time at the wake, I could understand why Ms Teh and the team at Singapore Funeral Live Band feel strongly about their work.

The family members of the deceased had not only been clapping and singing to the music, several also had tears in their eyes. The relief on their faces was evident as they said their final goodbyes.

It made me think back to the funerals I have attended for family and friends. What would their ideal send-off have been? Would they have wanted us to cry our hearts out over their passing, or celebrate their lives in such a bittersweet way?

I can't answer for the dead, but I hope that my eventual funeral could be one filled with laughter and joy with my favourite songs being sung by my loved ones, like we're having one last fun karaoke session together.

As I'm sent off to my final resting place, please play Taylor Swift's Getaway Car and Queen's Don't Stop Me Now loudly for me.