Gen Y Speaks: Why I like to listen to my grandpa’s stories

In 2011, when I was 19, Grandma passed away after losing a battle to diabetes. She was 80.

I could still recall that day when my Mum called to inform me about the bad news. On my way to the hospital, memories of my happy moments with Grandma flashed back — and that moment, I wished I had spent more time with her.

After her demise, Grandpa was heartbroken. Although he would tell us that he was alright, we all knew one thing: His life would never be the same after his life partner of close to 60 years of marriage had passed on. He is a brave man.

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In July 2016, I finally graduated with a Bachelor in Business from Nanyang Technological University (NTU). I had been looking forward to that day because I can finally let Grandpa witness a significant milestone in my life.

However, he was unwell and could not attend my convocation. At the time, his health was already showing signs of deterioration and he had to go to the hospital a couple of times to seek treatment for his asthma.

After graduation, I found a job as a project facilitator in a bank. As I was starting my career, I wanted to do well and was caught up with my work.

I thought that I could help Grandpa to keep himself occupied by buying him a tablet. Although I taught him how to use it, he showed little interest in the digital device. Neither was he watching television on the TV set that we bought for him.

Instead, he sat at home and stared blank into the space. This went on for weeks until I found out about this from my uncle who lives with him.

From that moment, I realised that what Grandpa needed was our companionship. That is not something money can buy.

I knew I must stop being a workaholic as I could not afford to have another regret in life. I then started spending more time with him whenever I could. We would usually go for a simple meal at a coffee house just below his flat.

Sometimes, I would bring him out for some fresh air at a nearby park. I love to take pictures with him because I know photo memories like these will stay forever.

On many occasions when I wanted take a photo with him, he would tell me this in Hokkien, "Aiya I am too old for a photo! Take a look — I am not even properly dressed!'

Yet, every time while he was saying that, I could see him immediately adjust his shirt collar and brush his hair with his comb to be camera ready. At 90 years of age, he still looks to look good.

Whenever his neighbours see the way we interact, or when my friends and family see our photos over social media, they would always say: "You are really fortunate."

I count my blessings for this. I grew up believing that life is too short to live slowly. So I walked fast, ate fast, and did almost everything quickly. I hardly took time to reflect on my life.

With Grandpa getting on his years, I am glad that I have learned to slow down and appreciate the little joys in life.

I love listening to his stories. My favourite one is on how he met my late Grandma through a blind date which he had never wanted to go.

I guess fate played a pivotal role, as that date eventually led to a marriage that lasted close to 60 years before Grandma passed on. That always reminds me that love is about patience, acceptance, and dedication from both parties.

Grandpa likes to advise me to take care of my health because of a life and death experience he had when working as a driver during his younger days. Once, decades ago, he was so tired at work that he dozed off while driving and almost got killed in an accident.

Life was definitely not easy for a sole breadwinner who had to raise six children.

Many people call me a "millennial with an old soul" because I hold very strong traditional values and belief.

When I was younger, Grandpa doted on me and would often buy me candies. Now that I am older and financially independent, it is only right that I take good care of him and provide him all the support he needs at his age right now.

To liven up his mood, I frequently share my delightful life moments with him.

For instance, how I was promoted twice in my current workplace within a short span of two years; the regular fruitful volunteering experience with Northwest Community Development Council; a board game that is currently in the making and the time I spend as a mentor under the NTU Connecting Minds Programme.

He is always happy to listen to my stories and share my joy.

I have never measured my success based on how well I do in my career or how much money I have in my bank account; I measure my success based on how much free time I can spend with my endearing family outside of work.

All so because blood is thicker than water.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Ong Shen Kwang works as a project facilitator in a local bank.