Tired of getting 'advice' you never asked for at the office? Try these hacks
"Advice" in the workplace can be well-meaning, but it's not always helpful. Business owner Kelvin Kao shares his hacks to gracefully dealing with unconstructive criticism from every corner of the office hierarchy.
Have you ever gotten unsolicited feedback at work? (Illustration: CNA/Samuel Woo)
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Imagine going on a nice, peaceful walk. Out of nowhere, random strangers jump out from behind trees to offer “helpful” advice on your route, your pace or even the type of shoes you should be wearing. You didn’t ask for directions, but suddenly, everyone has an opinion on where you should go and how you should get there.
If you’ve ever gotten unsolicited feedback at work, you’ll know exactly how this feels.
In an open-plan office, this effect only multiplies. I used to work in one such office where I wondered at times if someone had inadvertently stuck a “suggestions welcome” sign on my desk.
A colleague from another department once offered: “You shouldn’t use headphones in the office. You look disconnected from your surroundings and I had to wave at you to get your attention.”
A definitely-not-graphic-designer colleague chimed in: “Love your presentation earlier! But I was thinking that if you had used Comic Sans, it would have really made it a lot cuter.”
A manager from the sales team suggested: “You should place a mirror on your desk! That way you can check on your smile when you make sales calls.” (I don’t do sales.)
Once, a usually reserved team member kindly let me know: “Um ... I didn’t mean to, uh, bring this up, eh ... but when you were like, ah, on the call with the, um, client just now ... you paused, like, uh, a lot.”
Unsolicited feedback can be well-meaning and occasionally helpful, but most times, it’s like that awful Zoom echo when two laptops are too close without muting the audio – distracting and grating.
And it’ll come from every corner of the hierarchy – from the fresh-faced intern who’s just completed Intro to Marketing to the senior manager from another department who simply loves a captive audience.
Here’s how to handle each archetype without losing your cool.
1. THE OVER-EAGER INTERN: “HAVE YOU TRIED USING A GEN Z SCRIPT?”
Interns are young, motivated – I’ve been an over-enthusiastic intern myself. Today, Gen Z interns are particularly social media-savvy.
But sometimes, their narrow field of view, shaped by algorithmic echo chambers, means that you’ll hear a lot about the power of TikTok, micro-influencers or why your latest project “needs more memes”.
WHAT TO DO: Tread lightly. You don’t want to pour cold water on their enthusiasm and someday, you might even need their help.
Smile, thank them, and if you’re feeling generous, throw in a “slay” as you insert a trendy GIF into your report presentation.
2. THE “I READ THIS ON A LINKEDIN POST” COLLEAGUE
These guys have been around the block, so they’ve picked up some buzzwords and concepts – probably courtesy of a self-help podcast on 1.5x speed.
Their feedback is usually peppered with phrases like “synergy”, “disruptive innovation” and “core competencies”. The word salads they relentlessly dish out can often drain your energy instead of feed it.
WHAT TO DO: Play along with a dash of the good ole’ RBF (Resting Blur Face) – a little nodding, but do not ever thank or compliment them on their insight as that might trigger a further helping of word salad. Odds are, your lack of enthusiasm will cause them to move on to a new victim shortly, and you’ll get to continue with your day mostly unscathed.
3. THE SENIOR MANAGER FROM NOT-YOUR-DEPARTMENT
You know the one. They somehow manage to offer feedback on your project as if it’s been keeping them up all night. They swing by your desk with, “I heard about the campaign you’re running. You know, what we did with our team was …” And then they’re off before you can say “welcome to my TED talk”.
WHAT TO DO: Even if their advice has zero relevance to what you’re working on, the unfortunate reality is that there is a power dynamic here in place that requires you to respond in some fashion.
Politely express your gratitude, maybe toss in a “That’s an interesting approach”, and let them feel like they’ve passed on sage wisdom.
4. THE ULTIMATE WORRIER: “HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THE POTENTIAL RISKS?"
Ultimate Worriers see themselves as guardians of the galactic order. To them, there is no such thing as chaotic good; all chaos is destruction. They always come equipped with a bucket of cold water, ready to be poured on any idea or suggestion outside their comfort zone.
WHAT TO DO: While it may be tempting to set them up with the Over-Eager Intern and let them wear each other out, you might set off a Great War. Sometimes, just giving them a quick rundown of your plan reassures them. If they get too into the weeds, gently steer the conversation back to the positives.
If all else fails, briefly acknowledge their concern with a smile and a “gotcha” or “I’ll keep that in mind”.
5. THE RESIDENT NOSTALGIC: “BACK IN MY DAY …”
This colleague believes the golden age of the workplace was, coincidentally, whenever they first joined.
Every suggestion or piece of feedback inevitably leads back to “how things used to be done”. They’re here to remind you that they’ve “seen it all” and that any newfangled approach might just be reinventing the wheel.
WHAT TO DO: Show respect for their experience by being genuinely curious, but don’t feel trapped by their personal tether to the past. Say something like, "What can be, unburdened by what has been". Kamala Harris laugh optional.
Another way is to politely mention how your methods are built on the foundations of the past, so they can rest assured that current endeavours are rooted on the “historical groundwork” they have laid.
EAT THE MEAT, LEAVE THE BONES
A friend told me this years ago: “When you’re offered a fish, eat the meat but throw out the bones.”
Accept constructive feedback, but don’t feel obligated to overhaul your approach every time someone adds their two cents. Pick and choose what’s useful and let the rest slide.
Most importantly, remember that every piece of advice, whether golden or irrelevant, has one thing in common – it’s offered with the best of intentions.
At the end of the day, feedback, solicited or otherwise, might just be another way for everyone to feel like they’re part of the team. And in the grand scheme of work, that’s not a bad thing.
Kelvin Kao is the co-owner of a creative agency and a cafe.
