Being the reliable one at work nearly burnt me out. Here’s what I learnt

If Isaac Newton had worked in a corporate environment, he would probably have come up with a fourth law of motion: An employee excelling at their job will continue to receive more work, unless acted upon by an equal and opposite boundary.

That is to say: If you’re good at your job, it’s likely you’ll be rewarded with more work. 

You might eventually get a raise, perhaps even a promotion, but the immediate payoff? More things to do.

It’s like being the best cook in the kitchen. At first, you’re just in charge of your own fish station. Then, suddenly, tickets start piling up and you’re also on garnish, meat and somehow running the pass. 

And if you’re really good, soon enough, you’ll be doing even more than that.

You’ll find yourself metaphorically plating, expediting and covering for the guy who just got screamed at by Gordon Ramsay. 

Congratulations, you’re now both employee and unpaid sous chef in the office version of Hell’s Kitchen.

I know this because I’ve been on both sides: As an employee, I have burnt out from biting off more than I could chew, because I was seen as the reliable one that my boss could depend on to get things done and I wanted to uphold that reputation. 

As a manager, I have “rewarded” high-performing team members by piling more work on them, convinced that they were the only ones who could get the job done.

And I know I am not the only manager guilty of this.

I also know from experience that if you are the competent and dependable employee who is shouldering more than your fair share of work, it is hard to know where to draw the line, because you want to continue being a good team player. 

Last week, CNA TODAY's journalist Eunice Sng wrote about how the problem can be made worse if you are a people pleaser, someone who struggles to assert yourself and takes on more tasks than you are supposed to, because you find it hard to say "no".

Her article delved into why people become people pleasers and how they can try to overcome this personality trait.

Here, I thought I would share some tried-and-tested practical tips on how to draw boundaries at work without coming across as selfish.

After all, it is important to remember that if you spend too much time playing workplace superhero, your own tasks (and sanity) will eventually take a hit.

1. The art of selective helpfulness

You don’t have to be available for everything. The trick is choosing where and how to help in a way that doesn’t derail your own priorities.

I have found that setting aside blocks of time for ad-hoc help works well. This means letting teammates know that I am happy to troubleshoot, but only at specific hours.

This way, I can still contribute without constantly getting pulled away from my designated work. Basically, I’m a part-time problem solver, not an on-demand helpline.

2. The power of redirection

Sometimes, people ask you for help not because you are the only one who can solve their problem, but because you are the fastest or easiest option.

Instead of automatically diving into it, try asking, “Have you checked with X?” or “Have you looked at Y?”

It is a small shift, but it gently nudges people towards self-sufficiency rather than treating you like a human version of Siri.

3. Understanding what is urgent and important

Not everything is a fire. If your teammate’s request is urgent and important, it is worth considering helping them right away. 

But if it is not a priority, it is okay to push back with a simple “I can’t get to this right now, but let’s touch base tomorrow”. This filters tasks that don’t really require your immediate attention.

It is the difference between responding to a genuine emergency and being guilt-tripped into firing up Adobe Illustrator just because someone forgot their deadline was today.

4. The mindset shift: Helping versus handholding

The best way to avoid being pulled into everyone’s problems is to shift from doing to teaching.

Instead of fixing things for people, help them build the skills to fix things themselves. That way, you are still supporting the team without ending up as the fixer for every issue.

Think of it as the corporate version of “teach a man to fish”, except in this case, the fish is an Excel formula or an email template.

Or better yet, adopt the mantra of Ron Swanson from the American sitcom Parks and Recreation: “Don’t teach a man to fish … feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.”

5. Learning this magic phrase: "What’s the priority?"

If your plate is full and someone tries to add another serving, a simple “Which of these should take priority?” is a great way to subtly remind them that you are not a bottomless pit of productivity.

This works especially well when the request is coming from higher-ups. It forces them to acknowledge the trade-offs instead of just assuming you will “figure it out”.

THE MANAGER'S ROLE

If you are in a leadership position, the real challenge is not just setting boundaries for yourself but ensuring that you are not perpetuating the very problem you are trying to avoid. 

Are you disproportionately relying on the same few high performers?

Are workloads unevenly distributed?

If we don’t want our best people burning out, we have to stop treating competence and reliability like unlimited resources.

Even the best workers will eventually hit a point where they are running on fumes. Or worse, start faking incompetence just to get some breathing room.

SO WHERE DO WE LAND?

Setting boundaries at work is not about refusing to help. It is about helping in a way that is sustainable. 

It is about knowing when to say "yes", when to say "no" and when to redirect.

And if you are in a position to delegate, it is about making sure that workloads are distributed fairly, so that your employees don’t end up feeling penalised for being good at their job.

And if you are someone who is constantly picking up extra work because you care, just remember: Carrying the team is admirable, but carrying the team at the expense of yourself?

That is just bad management, whether it is coming from your boss or from yourself.

At the end of the day, no one is handing out trophies for “most overworked employee”.

So protect your time. Help when you want to, not just because you can. 

And the next time someone slides extra work your way, just smile and let them know your plate is already full – and you are not looking for seconds.