Can young workers really say 'no' to their bosses?

After three internships, I've realised that the quickest way to stand out isn't necessarily about being the best – it's about saying "yes". 

Yes to extra assignments. Yes to last-minute requests. Yes to things you don't fully understand but will figure out along the way.

In my experience, though limited I admit, bosses seem to prefer enthusiastic hires and those who provide the least resistance when it comes to parcelling out work. 

Apart from creating a good impression, the reality is that I know that with every new project or task I’m given, I have a chance to prove my worth.

With graduation looming and the job market more competitive than ever, the pressure to stand out has only intensified. 

Conversations with friends who have recently entered the workforce are filled with tales of burnout, blurred boundaries and a strong sense of obligation to make a lasting impact. 

While my internships have been short enough for me to never experience any of these issues, I expect this is something I will grapple with when I move into a full-time role after graduation. 

In my quest to impress, when does the need to say "yes" cross the line into sacrificing my boundaries? 

THE UNSPOKEN RULE TO ALWAYS SAY "YES"

For many workers, particularly those just starting out in their careers, saying "no" can seem like a risky move.

Experts said that employees often worry that declining a request might harm their rapport with their supervisors, potentially leading to poor performance reviews or creating tension at work. 

For those still proving themselves, there's an underlying fear of being labelled as uncommitted or unreliable. This, they worry, could affect both career progression and reputation. 

Ms Sofia Goh, principal counsellor at Sofia Wellness Clinic, said that the younger generation, especially Gen Z workers, often struggle to reconcile their values of setting boundaries with workplace hierarchies. 

"For early-career staff, a request from a boss can easily feel like an instruction, even if it is framed as optional," she said. 

This pressure is compounded in environments where other colleagues routinely go above and beyond, sacrificing after-work hours to take on extra tasks. 

In such cultures where long hours and overcommitment are silently rewarded, drawing boundaries can feel like going against the grain. 

Dr Brandon Koh, a psychologist and senior lecturer at the Singapore University of Social Sciences, said the fear also stems from the worry that one is missing out on opportunities to excel. 

"Saying no could lead to missed opportunities and interactions that a task might bring," he said.  

He added that in many workplaces, saying "yes" tends to become the default as employees err on the side of caution. 

"On an organisational level, a competitive or high-pressure culture can push people always to say 'yes' to suit the norm, especially if there have been cases where employees have received significant negative reactions for saying no," said Dr Koh.

SAY YES TILL YOU CAN’T 

So, how do you know when it's acceptable to decline a request?

Dr Koh said that it’s important to first consider your workload relative to that of your colleagues and also what saying “no” would mean for other members of your team. 

"(Saying) no is likely to be seen as uncooperative when an employee clearly has bandwidth, and saying no comes at an expense to their teammates,” he said. 

It is essential to assess whether your refusal is justified based on your own workload or is simply an attempt to avoid extra work.

When it comes to job scope, Mr Ben So, founder of Emunah Coaching, which provides career coaching, advised that employees should evaluate whether a request is part of their official job description. 

"If it is not a fair distribution or beyond the role of the employees, then the managers will need to be able to justify their request to maintain a healthy boundary," he said. 

Having clear conversations around expectations and workload can help prevent resentment from building and ensure fair treatment.

But what happens if saying no means passing up a potential opportunity for growth or stretching yourself professionally? 

Experts said that while taking on new challenges can indeed be valuable, there is also a real risk in saying yes just because of the fear of missing out on opportunities. 

If you're already stretched to your limit, adding more to your plate might cause your performance to slip – and ultimately do more harm than good. 

Ms Goh said: "Being honest gives (managers) a chance to help prioritise tasks, rather than risk someone saying yes to everything, only to underdeliver or burn out later."

Dr Koh agreed, saying that constantly overextending yourself might be seen as the mark of a dedicated worker, but it could also signal a lack of self-regulation or the ability to manage one's work environment.

This could take a toll on mental health and productivity in the long run. 

THE ART OF A RESPECTFUL NO

Learning to say "no" at work doesn't have to be confrontational and often, it's about how – not what – you communicate, said experts.  

Dr Koh suggested that young employees check in with trusted peers or senior colleagues about the best way to approach a boss before turning down a request.

"This can give them cues about the boss' style and any prior interactions of a similar nature," he said.

Being upfront about your current workload and explaining how you're prioritising higher-priority tasks – both for your own development and the organisation's goals – can help justify why declining an additional request is necessary.

Ms Goh recommended acknowledging the request first, then reframing it. 

She said that a simple and effective way to do this is to state: "I would be glad to support, but I am at capacity with [X]. Which priority should I adjust?" 

This approach, she said, shows that you're not dismissing the request outright but instead seeking a solution that maintains productivity and work quality. 

Offering alternatives can also go a long way, added experts 

If you can't take on the task immediately, propose a later timeline or direct the request to another colleague. 

Another option, said Ms Goh, is to state trade-offs clearly: "If I take this on now, I’ll need to reduce time spent on [Y]. Would that be acceptable?"

These strategies shift the conversation away from avoidance and towards problem-solving. 

Boundaries, in this light, become less about refusal and more about ensuring quality work, managing priorities, and staying dependable in the long run.

As Ms Goh put it: "Saying 'yes' can be a good thing. But if saying yes comes at the expense of well-being, it quickly turns into stress, exhaustion, and eventually burnout."

"That is why it is important to learn over time when to say yes – and when it is healthier to say no."