How breast cancer treatment led me to knitting hats and breast prostheses for women like me

If you were to ask the average breast cancer patient what brings them much-needed joy amid their health struggles, they probably wouldn’t say, “making breast prostheses”.

For me, this initiative wasn't just about surviving cancer – it was about using that experience to knit together a community of hope and healing.

In 2012, I woke up two weeks after my first chemotherapy session to find chunks of hair on my pillow and bald patches on my scalp.

To tell the truth, despite all the preparation I’d undergone with my breast care nurse, it was still a traumatic shock.

Fortunately, I already had hats that I knitted to wear. I’d been knitting since I was 12 years old, thanks to my grandmother who used to knit scarves and taught me how to hold my first pair of knitting needles.

However, I knew many others weren't as prepared. Cancer diagnoses often come suddenly, with surgery and chemotherapy following quickly.

In the middle of serious illnesses such as cancer, finding time or energy to shop for things like head coverings can feel overwhelming or simply not a priority.

During my visits to the National Cancer Centre Singapore (NCCS), patients would often ask about my knitted hats.

These conversations revealed a shared need for both comfort and dignity during treatment. We often ended up talking about what treatments we were undergoing, our side effects, and how we managed them – things we as cancer patients often felt like we could only talk about with other cancer patients.

I quickly got to work knitting. While undergoing chemotherapy treatment, I created about 100 more hats within three months for fellow patients who wanted them at NCCS.

In 2014, I started teaching knitting classes at NCCS called Knit For Hope. One stitch at a time, our community kept on growing, comprising patients, their caregivers, staff members and even external volunteers.

To date, I’ve taught more than 200 volunteers to transform balls of yarn into comfort for others through Knit For Hope.

BEYOND HATS: A NEW MISSION

Losing my hair was just one part of my cancer journey.

I got a mastectomy in 2012. When I first looked at myself in the mirror after the bandages were removed, the reality was overwhelming. The scars, the dark marks from stitches, the disfigurement − it almost brought tears to my eyes.

My hair would grow back. This loss was different. It felt permanent.

After the mastectomy, I was faced with another challenge: finding comfortable, affordable breast prostheses.

Silicone prostheses were available, but they were expensive. In 2015, a friend told me about an organisation that knits cotton breast prostheses, affectionately called “knockers”.

I decided to knit my own knockers. For me, this was more than just finding a solution; it was finding a purpose, a new way to embrace and accept my post-surgery self.

WEAVING HOPE INTO EVERY STITCH

I started a new group, Knitted Knockers Singapore (KKSG), teaching volunteers to knit knockers – which is more challenging than hats and requires more skill. This group included several participants from Knit For Hope who were keen to take on this new challenge.

What began as a personal solution transformed into a shared mission of support.

Over 10 years, our dedicated group has crafted more than 20,000 knockers for breast cancer patients across Singapore, with the hope of reinvigorating their self-confidence. Each knocker carries with it a message: You are not alone.

We started out making just four sizes − small, medium, large and extra-large. Over time, as we encountered different needs, we realised we had to expand our variations.

I remember one woman who said: “I don't think you have a knocker that will fit me.” I promised her I would custom-knit one that would definitely fit her.

That was how our “extra extra small” size was born. Today, we offer 10 different sizes, ensuring no one is left behind.

Even after a decade of knitting knockers, it never fails to warm my heart when I’m reminded of how big an impact these knitted knockers can have on cancer patients like me.

In 2018, I met a young, single woman who had recently undergone a mastectomy. Unable to afford reconstruction, she was deeply depressed.

When I showed her our knitted knockers, her face lit up with a smile. “They're beautiful,” she said – and then she hugged me, eyes brimming with tears of joy.

Moments like these always remind me of my own experience with my own first pair of knockers − that wonderful feeling of looking in the mirror and feeling whole again.

PASSING THE THREAD FORWARD

Life often has a strange but beautiful way of coming full circle.

Just before the COVID-19 pandemic, I was admitted to Singapore General Hospital with a very high fever – my white blood cell count was very high and I had to stay in the hospital for a few days.

During that time, I began thinking about succession planning for KKSG. I carefully selected and trained a core team of eight dedicated volunteers, each taking on different aspects of what I had been managing alone for years.

Later, in 2024, I was shocked to discover that after 12 years, my cancer hadn’t just returned, it had spread. Suddenly, I found myself facing a difficult road ahead with my illness and treatment.

I also had a difficult decision to make: Keep going with KKSG or step back to focus on my health?

But as much as I worried and fretted over the community we’ve built, I knew our work was bigger than any one person.

The team's response was immediate and heartwarming: “Don't worry, Lyn! You take care of your health and we will all help you take care of KKSG!”

Knowing that our mission would continue in good hands brought me much relief and joy. For the next six months, I was able to focus on my 18 weekly chemotherapy sessions.

Despite my initial concerns about our knitting community, I felt calm and at peace throughout that time. I knew I could leave it to my team to do a good job managing KKSG.

Today, even as I continue my own journey as a patient, I volunteer whenever I can with KKSG, knitting away to create more breast prostheses with whatever time and energy I can spare.

I find great comfort knowing that somewhere in Singapore, a breast cancer survivor is receiving a pair of our hand-knitted knockers, feeling the care woven into every stitch. Even in my own darkness, I know I can still bring some light to others like me.

Lyn Ee is a retiree and the founder of Knit For Hope and Knitted Knockers Singapore. At this year's Singapore Health Inspirational Patient and Caregiver Awards, she received the Inspirational Partner (Volunteer) Award.

If you have an experience to share or know someone who wishes to contribute to this series, write to voices [at] mediacorp.com.sg with your full name, address and phone number.