For the first time, I’m planning to have no plans for my kids this school holiday. Here's why
It can be tempting to over-schedule the holidays with activities or camps, and even get children to catch up on studies. Mum-of-five Kelly Ang is determined to make this year-end break different.
After 40 weeks of harried mornings, countless practice papers, various tests and exams, after-school sessions and trainings for co-curricular activities, not to mention extra Chinese classes, the year-end break always brings about the biggest sigh of relief.
No school! No classes! No early mornings! No early nights! Just six weeks of blissful unstructured freedom (or eight, if you’re a parent to secondary school children).
But I confess: As a Type A mum, having no plan for the school holidays kicks my anxiety into high gear.
Every year, for the 12 weeks that the kids are out of school, I always feel like it’s my responsibility to make the most of every minute. The thought of “wasting” the time away feels unbearable.
On top of that, social media constantly reminds me that I have just 18 years to soak it all in. I shudder every time I come across that popular internet idea that 75 per cent of all the time I’ll ever spend with my kids will be up by the time they turn 12.
With my oldest turning 12 next year, every holiday break feels more precious than the last.
That’s what makes the million-dollar question for me and many other parents: What do we do during school holidays with our kids?
BUSY HOLIDAYS OVERTAKEN BY BUSY LIFE
Before my older children entered primary school, I was determined to keep them actively engaged throughout the holidays.
I planned and packed each day to the brim: Park and beach visits, holiday camps, outings to museums, the zoo, aquarium, Science Centre, water parks and theme parks, and every other attraction I could find. I’d scour the internet for the latest activities, trying to take them out as often as I could.
I also kept a list of activities I could do with the children on planned days at home – learning worksheets, new recipes to bake, science experiments, books and board games to explore together.
It got a tad overwhelming for everyone, if I was being honest.
Once my older kids entered primary school, things had to change, simply because day-to-day life just got too busy.
How could it not be, with work demands and responsibilities combined with the schedules of four little people to run (soon to be five, once our youngest gets a little older)?
During the term, a typical day looks like this: Football training is just before swim class, while I have to drop a child off for Chinese class in between picking another up from a different Chinese class and zooming her down to ballet class – oh, and don’t forget to check on the child in the middle of a piano lesson at home.
My husband and I have to tag-team seamlessly, sometimes even needing to rope in my parents to help out with ad-hoc things that clash with our regular school day routine.
On top of this, there’s homework to complete, spelling lists to learn and projects to finish. Four times a year, we have to start the revision "engines" for tests and examinations.
So trust me when I say that the holidays are a much-needed pause from the grind, for everyone’s sanity.
Double the cheers that most of their extracurricular classes and activities also come to a stop.
These days, I’m really trying to slow things down for everyone. Packing our days to the brim is now the last thing I want to do, after such a stressful and action-packed term.
And for me, it’s more than just a sense that “it’s good for the kids to have time to play and have fun”.
TO STUDY OR NOT TO STUDY?
Last year, I read about the importance of creating “psychological distance” from routine.
Extended breaks from “regular life” not only open up new perspectives, they help our children regain motivation and rediscover their purpose.
Truthfully, with school life packed to bursting point, it’s impossible to really take a step back and breathe.
The holidays are extremely important for our kids – not just to rest and recharge, but to re-evaluate what they’ve been doing for the year and decide if it’s still worth pursuing.
You might be wondering: “But, Kelly, aren’t the holidays a great time to catch up on schoolwork?”
I can’t deny that it’s tempting to sneak some revision in, whether to solidify concepts from the past year or getting just that bit ahead for the next.
I was fully intending to schedule some study time during the holidays – until a friend of mine, also a parent, told me with a straight face: “Please don’t. I’ll despise you if you do”.
Now that I’ve been called out (thanks, friend!) and have had time to think about this, I’ve decided to hold the boundary for my primary school children.
The truth is, work never ends. Hustle culture and the technological advances that enable us to be plugged in 24/7 have led to higher incidences of workers being overworked, burnt out and overcome by stress.
Knowing that this is the kind of work culture my children will eventually face, it’s imperative for me to inculcate the importance of detaching completely from work to take care of themselves – and at their age, this means letting them entirely off from school work during the school holidays.
I strive to walk the talk, too, keeping my weekends work-free so that I can recharge properly for the week ahead.
I want them to know that it’s not only okay to take breaks – it’s good and necessary.
THE NO-PLAN HOLIDAY PLAN
That’s not to say that I’m okay with them whiling the weeks away in front of the TV or game console either.
I always start the holidays by asking them if there’s a new skill or sport they want to learn, or if there’s an activity they want to spend more time doing.
I also have them come up with a wish-list of places they want to visit during the holidays and I try my best to fulfil them all.
This year, my children have been discussing about wanting to go rock climbing, overnight camping by the beach and to go for rides at water theme parks.
I’ve also heard them talking excitedly about finishing the latest Pokemon game, as well as discussing how they can find the piano scores to a duet of a song from the Kirby video game.
From the sounds of it, it’s going to be a good six weeks here in our home, and I’m really looking forward to the break with my family.
No studies or crazy packed schedules, I promise.
Kelly Ang is a mother of five and a freelance writer.