Skip to main content
Best News Website or Mobile Service
WAN-IFRA Digital Media Awards Worldwide
Best News Website or Mobile Service
Digital Media Awards Worldwide
Hamburger Menu



commentary Commentary

Commentary: Gender reveal parties have spiralled out of control

Increasingly outlandish gender reveal parties align perfectly with the values of an economy that's always scrolling for the next best thing, says an observer.

Commentary: Gender reveal parties have spiralled out of control

A border guard accidentally started a giant fire in Arizona in 2017 at a gender reveal party by shooting at a homemade target made with a highly explosive product. (Photo: AFP)

CHICAGO, Illinois: Over Labour Day weekend in the United States, two expectant parents didn’t get the viral hit they had hoped for.

During a gender reveal party in Southern California, a “smoke-generating pyrotechnic device” was supposed to simply reveal a colour – pink for a girl, blue for a boy – before a crowd of onlookers.

Instead, it sparked a wildfire that has scorched more than 40,500 hectares of land.

Gender reveal parties have become their own mini-industry over the past decade. The increasingly extravagant parties – fuelled by a quest for unique, viral stunts – reflect some of the new bizarre pressures parents face in our “attention economy".

READ: Commentary: California wildfires signal arrival of a planetary fire age

READ: Commentary: Rising temperatures, fires and floods highlight importance of understanding weather extremes


Gendering children prior to birth is a unique phenomenon of the 20th century. That doesn’t mean parents-to-be didn’t try to make predictions.

For centuries, some looked to folklore. “Carrying low” – or having a baby bump closer to the pelvis – was supposed to mean that the mother would likely give birth to a boy.

If the mother found herself craving sweets, that meant a girl was on the way.

The baby’s sex was officially announced at birth, and gender reveals happened in postcards, church bulletins or local newspaper listings.

Stephanie Bowers who is 8 months pregnant poses for a photograph outside her home, as the spread of the coronavirus disease (COVID-19) continues, Manchester, Britain April 9, 2020. Picture taken April 9, 2020. (Photo: REUTERS/Phil Noble)

In 1958, a team of Scottish physicians conducted what’s believed to be the first fetal ultrasound. However, sex identification via ultrasound wasn’t widely practiced in American hospitals until the late 1970s. Only then were advances in the technology able to produce high-quality portraits of babies.

By the 1990s, iconic gray-scale images tagged with body parts became the norm. Expectant parents displayed sonograms on home refrigerators and called loved ones to share the news, but there wasn’t the pageantry of a big reveal.


It wasn’t until the proliferation of social media platforms that parties centred on the revelation of a baby’s sex became commonplace.

In 2008, blogger Jenna Karvunidis cut into a cake at a party with her family. Inside the cake was pink frosting, revealing to everyone in the room that she would be having a girl.

Her blog post about the party went viral. The modern gender reveal was born.

Most involve a gathering of family and friends who weigh in with their predictions before the moment of the big reveal. 

The parents-to-be cut a custom cake, pop a confetti-filled balloon or set off a glitter bomb that will reveal gender-stereotyped pink or blue. Guests cheer.

The couple kisses. Cameras capture it all.

READ: Commentary: Physical punishment and why few parents openly admit they cane, smack or spank

READ: Commentary: Why shaming your children on social media makes things worse

Social media fueled an uptick in gender reveals with the launch of visual platforms like Pinterest and Instagram in 2010. These platforms have inspired parents to participate in “sharenting” – in which parents post photos and stories about their children – and to use social media as a how-to manual for navigating the challenges of parenting.

What were once intimate rituals among loved ones are now shared publicly for friends and strangers alike.

But how, in just over a decade, did gender reveals go from pink icing in a cake to fireworks and wildfires?


On social media, the more unique, absurd, gripping or funny the image, the more likely it is to go viral. Everyday people who figure out how to tap the right algorithmic veins can become microcelebrities, while babies can capture the limelight as “micro-microcelebrities” before they’re even born.

Some parents give their future children custom hashtags. Others give them their own social media accounts.

The idea is to tap into the lucrative attention economy, which uses the currency of views, shares and likes to monetise life experiences. Merely having a child is not exciting enough for the Internet; the child needs to come into the world surrounded by shock and awe.

For a gender reveal stunt, parents might wrangle alligators, kick exploding footballs, shoot clay pigeons or jump from airplanes – ceremonies that can be more reflective of the parents’ identities, hobbies and online brand than anything to do with a baby.

File photo of a woman feeding milk to a baby. (Photo: AFP/Peter Parks) File photo of a mother feeding milk to her baby. (AFP/Peter Parks)

Ultimately, these increasingly outlandish gender reveals align perfectly with the values of an always-on digital consumer culture that is always scrolling for the next best thing.


Meanwhile, a booming industry promoting and encouraging gender reveals has emerged.

Custom cakes, themed party supplies, confetti cannons, smoke bombs and t-shirts are designed to create the perfect Instagram post.

Celebrity and influencer gender reveals are vehicles for brand sponsorships, product placements and media coverage.

The marketplace even adapted to the coronavirus pandemic by offering “It’s a girl” masks, “It’s a boy” hand sanitisers and even gender reveal games that can be played virtually.

READ: Commentary: The coronavirus has made all of us OCD

READ: Commentary: Primary School registration has gone online and is more straightforward. So why is it still stressful?

Parents, particularly mothers, already face intense scrutiny and cultural expectations of “ideal motherhood,” whether it’s the decision to breastfeed, have a “natural birth” or go back to work.

Whether or not to have a gender reveal has become yet another “choice” that expectant parents must make.

Even the decision not to have a gender reveal becomes a form of social media currency. For example, social media influencer Iskra Lawrence announced on Instagram that she would not have a gender reveal – and included sponsored links to a clothing brand in the post.

Gender reveals are sometimes sneered at for encouraging wasteful extravagance and creating very real safety hazards.

LISTEN: Home-based learning: Good, bad, terrible ... but mostly good?

(Photo: Unsplash/Ryan Franco) LISTEN: EP 4: Making money greener in the fight against climate change But distilling a gender reveal party down to the foolish choices of expectant parents ignores the cultural and economic forces that shape these decisions. It allows us to mock individuals for their parenting decisions rather than criticise the attention economy for having incentivised these reveals.

We have the excesses of capitalism to thank for a rapidly changing climate that has worsened fires raging throughout the American West.

Is a fire burning thanks to a gender reveal party fueled by anything different?

Jenna Drenten is Associate Professor of Marketing, Loyola University Chicago. This commentary first appeared in The Conversation.

Source: CNA/sl


Also worth reading