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Man admits raping ex-girlfriend, wanted to impregnate her so she would have no choice but to marry him

Man admits raping ex-girlfriend, wanted to impregnate her so she would have no choice but to marry him

The entrance of the Supreme Court in Singapore.

SINGAPORE: A 26-year-old man threatened his ex-girlfriend of 10 years with a knife and interrogated her on her sexual history with her new boyfriend, before raping her.

He then told her he had deliberately done so to get her pregnant so she would have no choice but to marry him.

The man, who cannot be named in order to protect the victim's identity, pleaded guilty on Thursday (Oct 14) to one count of rape. Five other charges including a second count of rape, as well as aggravated sexual assault and criminal intimidation, will be considered in sentencing.

The court heard that the man met the victim when they were in secondary school. They began dating when he was 16 and she was 14. 

He impregnated her twice - first when she was 14 and when she was 23. On both occasions, she went for an abortion.


On Feb 11, 2019, the 24-year-old victim broke up with the man as she found out he had cheated on her again.

He kept asking the victim to reconcile with him, but she blocked him on WhatsApp and avoided him. He began contacting her through her best friend and would look for her at work or at her home.

Two weeks after they broke up, he called the victim and said he wanted to settle down with her. He also asked her to meet him to discuss their marriage. When she rejected him, he got angry.

On Feb 25, 2019, the accused sent the victim a photograph of his father's parang.

He intended to look for the victim with the parang on him, but his family stopped him and calmed him down. He then bought a bread knife from a shop. He had planned to threaten the victim with it so she would tell him the truth about whether she had sex with other men.

The next day, he sent the victim a message asking for a favour, saying he wanted to meet her "so badly". 

"Even meeting (you) for 10 - 15 minutes is enough to ease my pining for you. I am truly sorry about yesterday because I can't accept the fact that you have found my replacement," he said.

The victim returned home at about 12.40am the following day and saw the accused waiting for her. He led her to his motorcycle and suggested they go to a hotel to talk.

The victim agreed to do so as long as he promised not to get angry. While on the motorcycle, the victim used her phone and the accused tried to grab it from her.

They then alighted and tussled over the phone, with the man threatening to punch her face if she did not give him the password. He struck her forearm, and punched her motorcycle helmet, resulting in the visor coming off.

He then saw a ring on the victim's ring finger and broke down in tears. The victim felt sorry for him and later agreed to go to his flat to talk about their future.


The pair reached the flat at about 1am that day. His family was asleep and they went into his bedroom. The victim saw the bread knife on his bed, and thought it was the parang in the photo he sent her.

The man stripped down to his boxers, before asking the victim if she had sex with another man. When she said no, he took the knife and placed the blade against her neck, causing her to fear that he would kill her.

She began crying as the man interrogated her on who she had sex with. She declined to answer multiple times, until he told her not to test his patience.

She replied that she had sex with her new boyfriend, and the accused peppered her with more questions, like how many times they did it and where.

At about 1.35am, the man slid the blade of the knife several times across the victim's thigh, and said he wanted to have sex with her.

The victim cried and refused, but he replied "I don't care". He forced the victim to perform a sex act on him, before telling her it was "his turn now" since she had had sex with other men.

He asked her what position she had sex with the other man in, and raped her in that position. He then raped her a second time, and then told her he wanted her to become pregnant so she would have no choice but to marry him.

The man later smashed the victim's phone screen with his knife when she refused to give him her password. She eventually took a Grab car home. While in the vehicle, she called her boyfriend to tell him what happened, before calling the police.

The man was arrested that same morning, after he sent messages to the victim's best friend saying he was sorry and wanted to surrender to the police.

The victim did not get pregnant as a result of the rape.

Deputy Public Prosecutor Sarah Siaw sought 13 years' jail and 12 strokes of the cane for the accused, saying that the use of knife was aggravating.

She also pointed to the deliberate ejaculation, saying the intention of making the victim bear his child was "tantamount to the deliberate infliction of special trauma".

"To rape the victim is bad enough, but to make the victim bear in her womb the fruit of rape is ... unspeakable," she said.


Defence lawyer Kyle Sim asked instead for six years' jail and six strokes of the cane. He argued at length on how the victim has purportedly forgiven her ex-boyfriend.

He said the victim posted 26 times about him on her Instagram stories in the 17 months after the offences. One such post three weeks after the incident said: "No matter what happens, no matter how long it takes, I'm always here for you."

Mr Sim pointed to another post on Jan 5, 2020, where the victim wrote "I still love you", referring to the accused.

Judicial Commissioner Philip Jeyaretnam said such social media posts do not really show that she has forgiven him or not suffered a degree of harm. 

"It's a process where the victim has to struggle with the trauma," he said.

He asked the lawyer how this squares with the victim impact statement, where she said she broke up with her new boyfriend in part because of the trauma from the rape. She also wrote that she had a phobia of being assaulted, and that the incident affected her sex life.

On the phobia of being assaulted, the lawyer said "I think we all are to some extent afraid of being attacked", and claimed there was "no assault" in the commission of the offence itself.

The judge responded that he was not entirely sure that was fully accurate.

"What you're doing now, with respect, is trying to explain away her feelings expressed in the victim impact statement ... and I have two difficulties with that - first, I'm not sure that's how trauma works, I'm not sure trauma is limited to rational responses to past events, but the second part of it is that you're saying she's forgiven him, but then here she is expressing these fears - does that fit with getting past it, which must be an aspect of forgiveness?" asked the judge.

As for the point about special trauma inflicted due to the man saying he wanted to impregnate the victim as he raped her, the defence lawyer said both parties had "all along engaged in unprotected intercourse".

"With no disrespect to the victim, your honour will note there were two prior abortions. Given that this was the ordinary manner in which parties engaged in sexual intercourse, defence submits that it is not deliberate special infliction of special trauma," said Mr Sim.

The prosecutor Ms Siaw responded that the act of ejaculation into the victim "takes on a totally different complexion in the context of rape".

There is no context of a romantic relationship and instead, the accused was making the victim submit to his sexual demands.

The Instagram posts do not talk about the sexual assault at all, and the tone is one of nostalgia, which is only natural given the length of their relationship, said Ms Siaw.

"It shows the victim did care deeply about the accused, and that, we say makes the betrayal all the more painful," she said.

The judge adjourned sentencing to a later date, saying he needed more time.

Source: CNA/ll(gr)


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