Not a clock watcher? These steps can ensure you don't upset those who are

A few years ago, I was 45 minutes late to an anniversary dinner with my then-boyfriend. The mood turned sour immediately because he had to pay pricey parking fees for the additional time I took to arrive.

From then on, his voice had an undertone of resentment. That was not the first time I had been tardy on our dates – on numerous occasions he had to wait for me as I was still commuting when he had already arrived.

I prefer to go along with the flow and move onto a new activity only after completing a previous task, perceiving the “end” in a more fluid manner than some other people. 

In stark contrast, he abides strictly by the clock and when a meeting time is set, deviating from it is inconceivable in his mind.

Our inability to reconcile with how we approached time was one of the reasons we broke up, and that dinner was the last straw. 

Looking back on that parting of the ways, I did some research and learnt about concepts that describe the differences in the ways that my ex-boyfriend and I structure our day.

I operate on what behavioural scientists call “event time”, referring to a system where individuals progress at their own internal rhythm, transitioning between tasks when they feel that the last one is finished.

As I was working on a project before our ill-fated meeting, I had hoped to make sure it was done well before heading out so that I would not have to think about it for the rest of the night and could enjoy the meal with him.

To me, this was more important than meeting up at the predetermined time, which of course backfired in the end.

This contrasts with “clock-timers” who use external cues to guide the way they schedule their actions. If they allocate two hours to finish something, when the two hours have passed, the work is done.

While one way of managing time is not necessarily better than the other, the world operates based on the clock. After all, there are non-negotiable activities like flights and doctors’ appointments. Would an entire planeload of passengers wait for you just because you are late?

Productivity and performance expert Charlene Ng said the dominance of clock-time culture reinforces a narrative of failure for anyone who doesn’t fit in.

Ms Cindi Wirawan, a career coach, agreed. She said: “Being an event-timer can be mentally challenging as you could be perceived as disorganised or even unproductive for failing to adhere to schedules.

“They may feel anxious or struggle with guilt whenever they can’t keep up.”

However, event timers can push themselves to follow the clock out of necessity, punctually submitting work and respecting others’ time in order to be empathetic, dependable friends. This does not mean it is their ideal or preferred method of planning their time.

Looking back at my time with my ex-boyfriend, I wondered if I had tried to adapt to his way of managing time, the relationship might have kept going.

So what are some time management strategies that event-timers can adopt to function better in a world where the clock is dominant?

FLOW VERSUS FORM

First, we need to learn more about the differences between event and clock- timers.

For example, if someone asks an event-timer when they should have dinner, they might say: “Okay, I’ll tell you when I’m hungry”, while a clock-timer might respond with “Let’s head to the restaurant at 7pm”.

Glancing at their watch every few minutes might be a clock-timer’s habit, as time guides many of their actions – a daily schedule might look like waking up at 8am, beginning to work at 10am, having lunch at 1pm, exercising at 6pm, and hitting the sack at 11pm.

On the other hand, event-timers might get out of bed when they are not tired anymore, eat meals when their stomach starts to rumble, and work on a task until they think it is complete, which can be anytime.

Ms Ng, who is the director of her own practice Charlene Coaching, said that she does not view the concepts as opposites, but rather as different tendencies in how we engage with time.

“Each of us carries elements of both within us, applied depending on the activity. Scheduling a meeting to gather user requirements for a project typically follows a clock-timer mindset," she said.

“But going out to play at the park with your children leans more towards the event-timer orientation, fluid and socially driven. These aren’t just personal quirks, they are shaped by cultural norms.”

Executive leadership coach Dane Tang, who founded consulting practice DesignFuture, said that in Singapore’s achievement-focused culture, the pressure to conform to external schedules is especially strong.

She explained how people who work well by the clock are often seen as disciplined and professional while those who prefer a more flexible approach might be “unfairly labelled” as poor planners, unreliable, or procrastinators.

“When event timers are forced to follow strict schedules, it can hurt how they feel about themselves. This creates a false narrative that can erode self-confidence and trigger impostor syndrome,” Ms Tang added.

Ms Ng said that when event-timers internalise this preference as the only valid way to work, they may come to see their natural tendencies as personal failures. This internal conflict causes them to feel disengaged.

“The forced conformity to clock-time can erode their sense of autonomy – one of the most basic psychological needs – as most of us would like to have some sense of control,” she said.

Hence, she suggested that clock-timers can stop perceiving this difference as something to be fixed.

“What if, instead, we looked at how event-timers can rewire habits in ways that preserve their strengths like flow, spontaneity, and creativity?”

According to Mr Lim Han Ee, an executive coach from Emerge Performance, what is important is not to force a complete switch from event to clock orientation, but to find a personal rhythm that works within external constraints.

This means becoming “aware of one’s internal timing cues, while building adaptive routines that honour commitments in a clock-driven world”. He also emphasised the need for event timers to “stay grounded without feeling boxed in”.

BLENDING IN ADAPTIVE STRUCTURES

So how can that be achieved? Productivity experts that CNA TODAY spoke to shared a few steps that event-timers can take to adjust to workplace expectations.

Firstly, Ms Tang said that executives can identify two to three “non-negotiable” commitments in a day, such as board meetings or client presentations, and then design the rest of the activities around them.

Expanding on the concept, Ms Ng suggested that they can adopt “anchors”, or fixed moments in the day that act like landmarks – something that they feel familiar with. Micro-habits like “After my morning coffee, I check my email” help build a routine without rigidity.

Such conditional planning of “if X, then Y” also preserves flexibility while gently introducing structure for event-timers, she added.

Mr Ivan Foo, a senior coaching specialist from mental health clinic Intellect, agreed and shared more examples. “Instead of counting the minutes, use fluid anchors such as ‘do this before lunch’, or ‘draft this by the end of the day’,” he said.

Another method is to schedule tasks during peak energy periods, when individuals are most alert and focused, so that activities can be completed more efficiently, said Ms Ng.

She added: “This approach helps event-timers, who tend to have an intuitive and relational sense of timing. We can ask more insightful questions such as “How might I align my milestones with my energy peaks?” or “What rhythm works best for the way I think?’

Ms Tang echoed this sentiment, saying that understanding what activities energise someone versus what drains them can enable the person to build their day around what gives them the energy flow. This, she said, had helped many of her clients.

She shared that she would design her days to honour both structure and flow, reserving mornings for deep work, when her energy is high, keeping afternoons flexible for meetings, and spending evenings for social connections, limiting night calls to only two to three evenings per week.

Finally, Ms Ng warned about a common pitfall of event-timers – the vagueness of their tasks. She mentioned how blocking out six hours for creating a PowerPoint deck can lead to drifting.

“Instead, break it down into 'mini episodes of accomplishment' for the work into possible sub-tasks like: gather data, validate ideas, design the flow, review with colleagues, draft the context email.

“Once these smaller tasks are defined, assign an anchor to each. Suddenly, the once-overwhelming six-hour block becomes focused and achievable with mini milestones that happen throughout the six hours,” she said.

NOT AN OVERNIGHT OUTCOME

Transitioning to introduce more structure into event-timers’ lives can be a stressful experience. But not all is doom and gloom because there are ways to reframe progress.

Mr Foo said it can be transformative to remind yourself that feeling distressed is not a sign of personal inadequacy – it might be a cultural mismatch instead.

“Language also shapes the mindset. Use positive and empowering words, such as 'free spirited' rather than 'fickle', 'fluid' rather than 'disorganised'. This can reduce self-criticism and build self-compassion,” he added.

There are also three types of goals when it comes to managing change, according to Emerge Performance’s Mr Lim. 

• The first type are outcome goals that are focused on the end-result, such as hitting every deadline.
• The second are personal goals centred on personal improvement, such as reducing lateness from three times a week to once.
• And third are process goals, referring to specific habits that lead to improvement, such as setting a reminder 10 minutes before meetings or preparing the night before.

He said: “Many event-timers put pressure on themselves to jump straight to outcome goals — but in reality, it’s process goals that create sustainable change. We encourage clients to shift their attention from 'Did I hit the target?' to 'Did I show up differently today?'

On top of that, along the way, Ms Tang advised event-timers to take small steps and celebrate small wins. For example, they can try staying on time for their most important commitments, then slowly expand from there.

She added that instead of seeing the goal as “becoming a clock-timer”, celebrate consistency over compliance – showing up in their rhythm is a win. This builds confidence rather than making them feel inadequate.

“Many event-timers thrive once they shift from chasing the clock to designing their rhythm.”

Another tip is to blend the best of both worlds, as long as individuals know how to prioritise and how their various tasks impact others, said Ms Wirawan.

“Use clock-time structure for non-negotiables like team meetings and project deadlines, and event-time flow for in-between work such as your preparation time or creative work.”

Support from employers is important as well. Ms Wirawan said that workplaces should recognise, accept and appreciate diversity in work styles – there is more than one way to do something.

She also suggested that results should be emphasised over rigid hours because when managers focus on what gets done rather than when it’s done, event-timers feel less “watched” and more trusted. This autonomy boosts their confidence and mental health, she said.

Mr Foo said that employers can offer time windows for meetings or task delivery instead of strict slots. For example, “submit by end of day” versus “submit by 4pm”.

Ultimately, Ms Ng said that event-timers are not disorganised but often just mismatched with systems that ignore how they function best.

“By blending structure with flexibility, clarity with autonomy, and tasks with meaningful support, we foster environments where both clock- and event-timers can thrive.”

After listening to these pointers, I realised that functioning better in a clock-time world is simply a matter of reframing how I plan to commit to tasks and activities, and not being too harsh on myself.

But more importantly, I also believe that it's important to communicate with others on how I view time, and how we can help each other to reduce misunderstandings to ensure that outcomes are optimised with our different working styles.

Trying to change alone is not effective if no one else understands me. It's worth making an effort to ensure we're on the same page.