Not short on passion – the prolific artist with dwarfism who paints all day despite the pain

Meeting Madam Florence Tan for the first time, I found myself instantly struck not by her diminutive height, but by her larger-than-life presence.

The 60-year-old lives with dwarfism, and is only about 1.2m tall. Despite her small stature, one cannot help but be drawn in by her quick wit, bursts of laughter and artistic flair.

When I arrived at her art kiosk outside Clementi Mall on a humid Thursday afternoon, Mdm Tan was in the middle of painting a cat, with her head bent and brow furrowed in concentration.

An array of hand-painted tote bags lay neatly on the table, featuring adorable cats, dogs and less commonplace animals such as pandas. When I introduced myself as the journalist who contacted her for this interview, she brightened up immediately, warming to me as if I were an old friend.

"Girl, give me your hand. I need help," she said, reaching out to me. I extended my hand to support her as we walked together to her Housing and Development Board (HDB) flat, just opposite the kiosk.

Usually, she told me, it would be her helper by her side, as had been the case since she began experiencing new walking difficulties after her hip surgery in March 2024.

Because of her dwarfism, Mdm Tan explained, she walks differently than the average person, relying more on her hips than her knees to propel her forward. Over time, this gait has caused wear and tear on her hip ligaments, leading to sudden, intense pain.

Following surgery on her left hip in 2016, the doctor had advised her to have her right hip operated on soon as well. Fearing the prospect of going under the knife yet again, she put it off. 

But in early 2024, she took a fall from her new bed, which was designed for the average adult height, and the impact meant the surgery on her right hip had to go ahead.

Yet even as she recounted the ordeal, Mdm Tan's voice carried no trace of self-pity or despair. 

She laughed a lot during our two-hour conversation, readily and heartily, often making ironic quips. For instance: "This is why I don't want to have kids. I don't want them to live a miserable life like mine."

She dropped these into the conversation with a cheeky grin. But knowing she has spent decades struggling to adjust to a world built for adult bodies that look and work differently from hers, I felt that I could hear an undertone of real pain beneath her self-deprecating humour.

LIVING WITH DWARFISM IN SINGAPORE

Growing up the youngest of eight children, Mdm Tan had to learn to toughen up early on, she told me as we settled down in a cosy spot right outside her third-floor flat. 

Life rarely remained steady for long, with the family bouncing around old estates such as Margaret Drive and Tiong Bahru before settling in Telok Blangah in the mid-1970s. 

Her father died of leukaemia when she was in Secondary 1, leaving her mother and older siblings – four brothers and three sisters – to guide her through childhood.

School was not easy for her, either. Blackboards were often out of reach, making it difficult for her to write on them as instructed by teachers. In particular, physical education lessons were a struggle – activities like running were naturally harder given her stature. 

Living in Telok Blangah, she couldn't even reach the lift button for the 21st storey, where her family's flat was. Her parents would have to wait at the school bus stop to pick her up, so they could walk home together.

But one day, when she was in Primary 5, the bus arrived earlier than expected. Finding herself alone, she decided to walk home by herself – but she soon got waylaid by a group of neighbourhood kids hassling her and jeering at her for her diminutive height.

"I was so scared, so I ran to the lift (in my block). I couldn't press my floor's button, so I just pressed the 'door close' button. I felt a little (relieved) after that," she said.

"But then, (one of the boys outside) pressed the 'open' button again and laughed at me. When the lift door closed, he stood outside and just looked at me. I was so sad, I cried and cried and cried."

From then on, the youngster started bringing a ruler around with her everywhere, so she could navigate the lift on her own when she needed to. Her mother, too, made it a point to arrive much earlier at the bus stop – as early as 12.15pm, even though the bus would arrive only at 12.45pm.

As she aged into adulthood, daily life still came with obstacles. 

Boarding a bus on her own often felt like "climbing a mountain", especially before more widespread efforts to make public transport more accessible came into effect. 

In the past, before low-floor public buses became the norm, bus drivers who were familiar with her would sometimes make the extra effort to stop close to the kerb so she had less of a gap to cross. Even after crossing this first hurdle, she would have to muster her own strength to climb the stairs once aboard.

PAINTING AGAINST THE ODDS 

Despite living in a world that was not always kind to her, Mdm Tan has always found beauty in it.

At just four years old, she would sit on her potty by the kitchen door and peel paint from it. As she peeled, she would start to imagine shapes – a line would become a river, a chip of paint would become a person or a tree.

By Primary 2, her budding talent was recognised when one of her artworks was displayed on the classroom wall. That same year, she also received a certificate in a colouring contest – her very first award, she recalled proudly.

But as much as her affinity for art grew over her schooling years, pursuing it after O-Levels was never a straightforward path.

Nearing secondary school graduation, she had her sights set on the Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts (NAFA), but her late mother, being a practical woman, was worried whether pursuing art could ever pay the bills. 

"She preferred that I go to JC (junior college) to study science or maths instead," she said. "She always said I couldn't earn a living if I studied art."

Despite her mother's attempts to dissuade her, Mdm Tan refused to give up exploring and expressing her love for creative art, admiring Peter Rabbit illustrations at the library and drawing numerous illustrations to imitate the artist Beatrix Potter's style. Seeing this, her mother eventually gave in.

However, Mdm Tan was clear about describing her mother as a practical woman rather than a discouraging one. "At first, she might suggest something, but if (we) can explain our plan clearly, she will let (us) try."

In the end, Mdm Tan was allowed to pursue her studies at NAFA on one condition: that she also mastered typing. 

These days, hardly any of us thinks twice about the act of typing, whether it's on a keyboard or a touch screen. But in the 1980s, typing was a valuable skill that could help one secure office or administrative work in various industries. 

"(My mother) made me sign an agreement. I cheated a bit. She wanted me to master the advanced typing course, but I only did elementary," Mdm Tan said with a laugh.

Getting the green light from her mother turned out to be only the beginning of a gruelling journey to enrolling on NAFA's fine art diploma programme. 

Mdm Tan's application was rejected not once, not twice, but four times in total. She eventually succeeded at the age of 24.

Graduating three years later, she went on to work as a graphic designer for a Japanese company – to her mother's astonishment, she earned more than some of her graduate siblings – before shifting into freelance design.

These days, she has found her niche painting on tote bags and crafts out of a small kiosk that attracts regular customers. She was able to secure a licence for the kiosk with help from Dr Tan Wu Meng, former Member of Parliament for Jurong Group Representation Constituency.

It was also Dr Tan who told her, during the COVID-19 pandemic, about opportunities for people with disabilities to contribute their artwork to ART:DIS, a charity championing learning and livelihoods for artists like her.

By selling her paintings through the association, she was not only able to help raise money but also support herself, with most of the proceeds going directly to the artists. 

In many ways, Mdm Tan has achieved her childhood dreams of making art the core of her life. Even when her health faltered, resulting in the hip surgery, she never stopped painting. 

"I can paint all day, all night. Even when I'm in pain, I take my painkillers and keep going," she said.

"I like this simple life. I don't want to be tied to an 8-to-5 job," she added. 

"I just want to keep painting, keep meeting customers and leave behind my art."

Of all the animal motifs she has painted on her tote bags so far, her favourite subject remains the panda – a tribute to her mother, who died from cancer in 2000 when Mdm Tan was 35.

"The way panda mothers care for their cubs reminds me of how my mother cared for me."

MEETING THE LOVE OF HER LIFE 

She was once told that someone as "ugly and short" as her didn't deserve a happy ending, but Mdm Tan counts her lucky stars that she met her significant other of 36 years while studying art at NAFA.

Mr Benjamin Wong, 61, was in a different class back then, but he would often pop into her classroom to chat with her and tease her, much to her bewilderment.

Initially, she treated him as just a friend. But when they were paired together for a photography project, she began to notice his sincerity and down-to-earth nature.

He consistently showed her care, going the extra mile to help her wherever he could – from carrying her heavy equipment to pitching in for purchases she couldn't afford. 

Yet, when he proposed after their graduation, Mdm Tan hesitated.

"I rejected him because I was scared. I felt that I wasn't good enough for him, that I didn't match him."

That usually would have been the end of most relationships. But despite her rejecting his offer of marriage, he stayed by her side, patiently waiting. 

Over nearly four decades together, he has proposed four times in total. She turned him down each time – until 2023, when she finally said yes. 

I asked: Why now? 

She took a moment to consider the question seriously. "After all these years, I looked at the way he treated me, the way he loved me, the way he protected me, and I finally accepted him."

It's a heartwarming story, but even so, getting turned down multiple times has to sting even the most committed of hearts. I asked: Why does she think he has stuck by her all these years? 

"He told me he preferred someone who has a good heart, who's down-to-earth and funny. I'm very funny, meh?" she joked.

Still, Mdm Tan admitted that she is not entirely sure why he stayed by her side all those years. But she readily acknowledged that the chemistry between them was undeniable. 

"It feels so natural just to talk to him, even back when I didn't really know him that well yet," she recalled. "And we'd miss each other after not meeting for a while, like during the school holidays." 

Upon getting engaged in 2023, the couple renovated the resale flat she had bought on her own in 2001 at age 36, creating a home adapted to her needs – with light switches placed at her height and a sturdy kitchen platform that allows her to reach the stove and sink with ease. 

"At first, I was worried he might not be able to accept staying in my simple home, because my house was very pared-down and I'm poor. But when he came over and saw my house, he said, 'Don't worry, I'll fix everything up for you'," she said. "I was so touched."

The wedding date is still undecided for now, as they had to postpone their registration due to her hip surgery. 

But Mdm Tan expects the occasion to be a simple affair. For her, their shared bond matters more than the paperwork and ceremony. In fact, she already referred to him as her husband throughout our conversation.

"DON'T BE SO SENSITIVE, BE MORE THICK-SKINNED"

These days, her fiance, who used to work full-time at the Singapore Art Museum, lives off passive income as a landlord while supporting Mdm Tan in running her craft stall and managing daily life together.

She glows with happiness while talking about their relationship. "He's a very nice guy," she said, grinning rosily.

Nevertheless, she admitted that she sometimes still struggles with old fears that her partner might leave her one day. But now, buoyed by Mr Wong's constant reassurance and her own brothers' encouragement, she is finally choosing to be brave and to stand by his side with her head held high.

"I'm trying my best to make him happy, to be a good wife to him. And he told me that no matter what, no matter how crazy I get, he won't leave me."

However, a wedding and settling down with the love of her life doesn't quite mean happily ever after for Mdm Tan. 

Despite changes to make public infrastructure more inclusive, difficulties remain. Even now, something as simple as withdrawing money from an automated teller machine (ATM) still requires help from her domestic helper. 

"I didn't like keeping my money in the bank last time because I couldn't reach the ATM. I always needed to go to the counter," she said. 

"After going through such trouble, I'd rather keep the cash with me so I can retrieve it easily." 

Health concerns also weigh heavily on Mdm Tan as she ages. She worries that her heavy use of painkillers will affect her kidneys and liver one day. On her fiance's advice, she now takes supplements to "protect" them, as she put it. 

Living with dwarfism also means her back and hip bones ache constantly, she added. 

Although her recent hip replacement surgery was deemed successful, she still experiences muscle and nerve pain that flares up whenever she sits or lies down.

"Walking takes up so much of my energy, and it's very painful," she said. 

Having gone through life as a dwarf, she's learnt to live by her own hard-won wisdom – which she hopes to share with others with dwarfism in Singapore.

"You must work hard and work smart. Save money, don't be so sensitive, be more thick-skinned," she said. "Ask for help when you need it, and learn as much as you can."