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For 6 weeks, these parents joined their children in secondary school. This is what happened

What if your parent is your classmate? The programme On The Red Dot documents the stories of four parents who join their teenage children in school to understand what it is like being a secondary school student in Singapore nowadays.

For 6 weeks, these parents joined their children in secondary school. This is what happened
Mazni Senain joining her daughter Dian Hannani at Kranji Secondary.
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SINGAPORE: She is the chairperson of her secondary school’s Chinese Dance co-curricular activity (CCA) and sits on her student council’s executive committee as a level co-ordinator for her cohort.

Wong Shan Ni also likes taking part in competitions such as the annual National Text Recital Competition for pupils studying Chinese language.

Among her subjects, mathematics gives her “the most trouble”. So last year in Secondary Three, she started attending maths consultations with her teacher.

Her father, Steven Wong, knows she has a hectic schedule. “When she’s home, she’d say she’s very tired,” he said. But until recently, he could not get his mind around what keeps her so busy.

WATCH: Dad doesn’t get why school stresses me out — so he’s coming to classes with me (7:03)

“I don’t really tell my dad so much about my secondary school life because he doesn’t really understand what happens in our school,” said Shan Ni, a student at Riverside Secondary School.

Another parent of a teenage student is Janice Soh, who believes she has a “pretty close” relationship with her son, Apelles Yeo. “I know quite a bit of Apelles’ school life,” she said — at least, she thought so.

Her son, a student at Bowen Secondary School, said: “I don’t go into details, so it’s mostly surface-level stuff. … My mum only knows about 40 per cent of my school life.”

To gain first-hand insight into contemporary student life and reconnect with their teenage children, Wong, Soh and two other parents went back to secondary school for six weeks during the second semester last year.

Steven Wong trying to figure out the class iPad at his daughter’s school, Riverside Secondary, and how to scan a QR code for a social studies class.

It meant adapting to an educational system that some of the parents found to be vastly different from their school days. Could they even survive the first week?

The programme On The Red Dot followed them and their children in the four-part series My Parent, My Classmate — in the end finding out whether going through academic and co-curricular pressure together strengthened or strained their relationships.

FRIENDSHIP AND CCA ADVENTURES

For Secondary One student Dian Hannani, the journey that she and her mother, Mazni Senain, were embarking on seemed “quite weird”, she said at the start.

“She’s older than most of my teachers,” said the Kranji Secondary School student. “Then suddenly she becomes a classmate.”

It had been 35 years since Mazni was in Secondary One herself, and she was “very nervous” during the first week. Her daughter, however, was “not helping”.

WATCH: Part 1 — Singaporean parents attend secondary school with their kids (22:57)

“She’s so quiet. When I ask her questions, she’s like, ‘Mm, okay. Mm,’” Mazni complained half in jest. “I feel a bit offended because she’s not welcoming me as a classmate.”

That was something one of the On The Red Dot producers noticed too. Dian was talking to her friends more than her mother. Asked about this, she said: “Because they’re my friends and they’re not my mum. That’s why.

It’s just awkward for a child to suddenly talk to their parent like some friend they’re close with.”

When her mother wanted to go to the canteen at recess, she did not want to. But that did not stop Mazni, who “found a friend” — her daughter’s classmate Jovianne — to accompany her to the canteen.

For Dian, this was “a turn of events” because she and Jovianne were “two different characters”.

“I don’t really talk loudly. I’m not a playful person,” she said, describing her classmate. “My mum said that Jovianne was a very nice girl. I’m not sure how to think of it, but I’ll give her a chance.”

It turned out to be the start of a blossoming friendship between Jovianne and Dian together with Mazni — one of the highlights of the series.

WATCH: Caught in a friendship triangle with my mum — are we all still friends now? (10:15)

Another highlight was Apelles’ mother joining his CCA: Military band. The Secondary Three student was “quite excited” about it, but his mother was “worried about the PT (physical training)” she would have to do with his band.

It included planking exercises, star jumps and the sight of band leader Apelles commanding the band members, “Go! Go!” as his mother stood around, tired out. At one point, he shouted: “Janice, why (didn’t you) jump? Everyone else jumped.”

“I had to call her by her name because I didn’t want my mother to be treated like … my mother,” he said. “Instead, I want to let her experience what it’s like being a student.”

Soh concluded: “He’s quite scary when he’s a leader. He’s very firm.”

WATCH: Part 2 — Mum joins band practice, trains under her son (22:46)

TAKING TESTS, BUILDING BONDS

Usually, parents are the ones telling their children what they should do or telling them things like, they could have scored higher on their tests. But when parents must take the tests too, the boot is on the other foot.

That was among the experiences of the parents that the series explored. Diana Raja, for example, thinks her daughter, Arradana, could pay more attention to her mother tongue subject, Tamil, and put more effort into speaking it.

But when Diana had to take a Secondary Two test, alongside her daughter at Christ Church Secondary School, she had “1,000 butterflies” in her stomach.

“I can speak Tamil well,” she said. “But if you ask me about writing, I’m not good at it.”

The written test was a weighted assessment, which students take throughout the year. These evaluations contribute to their grades at the end of the year.

Before the test results were out, Diana had one “main concern” as a mother.

“If I (score) lower than (Arradana), she’s going to tell me, ‘Mum, firstly, … you didn’t even score well, so don’t come and tell me to study or do this,’” Diana said.

So how did she score? And how did she handle it? All is revealed in the series; her daughter, for one, passed.

WATCH: Part 3 — Mums take difficult exams with their children (22:58)

So far, the four episodes have chalked up more than 300,000 views on YouTube.

Viewer @sanmikim felt the series was “pretty good”. “Now parents can understand how students struggle in daily life,” she wrote, citing the early mornings and late nights.

With her busy schedule, which included dance lessons outside school, Shan Ni was one who was filmed burning the midnight oil of homework.

Viewer @goguma2830 was “very impressed” by her. “This girl is self-directed, hard-working and humble,” the viewer wrote on YouTube.

WATCH: Part 4 — Parents experience teenage stress with their kids (22:29)

Wong also gained a deeper appreciation of his daughter’s workload as he immersed himself in her routine and witnessed her emotional roller-coaster as she prepared for last year’s Chinese text recital competition.

He also grappled with the complexities of Secondary Three mathematics during classes and consultations with her teacher. “I find many aspects of what Shan Ni is studying quite challenging,” he said.

This has really allowed me to understand that she’s under a lot of pressure. So if she cries at home, I’ll try my best to comfort her.”

With the experience of having her father in school, Shan Ni has more topics to talk about with him, she said.

“He’s able to empathise with me … and think (from) my perspective,” she added. “I hope that throughout the future, … we can talk about my school life a little bit more.”

Watch the On The Red Dot series My Parent, My Classmate here. The programme airs on Channel 5 every Friday at 9.30pm.

Source: CNA/dp
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