How Singapore Olympian fencer Amita Berthier was raised to 'never once waver'

SINGAPORE: In the backseat of the car lay two girls, wrapped up, fast asleep and none the wiser as their parents navigated foggy roads from Edinburgh to Glasgow in early morning darkness.

Hours later, sisters Amita and Aarya Berthier went on to win their first international fencing competition.

And what a Scottish coach said to the girls after has stuck with their mother Uma till today. “You’ve got something special going on there.”

Amita is now, at the age of 23, a three-time SEA Games champion who's qualified for the Olympics twice. But she actually started in gymnastics before giving football a shot.

“She was a midfielder so she would run from one end of the (field) to the other, there was no stopping her,” Uma told CNA.

“You could give her a table tennis bat, badminton racquet, whatever. Her greatest joy then and still now would be sports.”

Uma herself had been a middle-distance track and field runner, while Amita's father Eric was an avid skateboarder and also did judo.

While firm believers in the value of sport, Eric and Uma were not particular about their daughters' pursuits.

“We both were of the mindset that our kids would take up one sport … (But) it was not about going out there being champion," said Uma.

Ultimately what was important for the Berthiers was that their children enjoyed themselves.

“If you really enjoy it, then give it all you’ve got. If you come to a point where you feel this is not it for me, I'm not enjoying it anymore, we always gave them the option of backing out or maybe exploring something else,” Uma said.

“We always felt it had to be owned by the child. And the child has to be passionate about it. It's not about us pushing them because if it comes to pushing them along, then something's off; not quite right.”

In any case, it was Amita who was very focused on what she wanted to do.

At the age of six, she started at local academy Z Fencing, and the rest is history.

A WRITTEN CONTRACT

Open communication was also a big part of Uma and Eric's parenting style.

“I’d always sit and ask them - not just in sports but whatever they wanted to do - why they would choose that path,” she explained.

“If they gave me their reasons and I think it’s sound, I would go with it. But if I thought it was not really all put together, I’d give them the benefit of making a decision in that direction and then the disadvantages as well.

“And then I’d ask them to have a debate with us and then let’s take it from there. And if you can convince us, then okay, we’ll go with it.”

As Amita’s fencing passion and prowess blossomed, she was selected for the national youth squad. And a few years later, the then-Singapore Sports School student surprised her mother with a request in the form of a written contract.

“She came to present it to me and my husband, saying why she wanted to go out of Singapore and train overseas,” recalled Uma. 

“She said she needed to be further challenged, and she wanted to be in a different environment for training and to be toughened up.

"She said: ‘I want to medal at the World Championships in the cadet category.’”

In the contract were several promises - that Amita would train very hard, keep in contact with her parents and do her best.

Her parents didn’t think Amita was all that serious, but she continued to revisit the contract every few days. When they realised her heart was set, her parents applied for a leave of absence from school for her.

But it was during those few months that life, as the Berthier family knew it, forever changed.

SUPPORTER, FRIEND, FATHER

Along with Uma, Eric had been actively involved in Amita’s fencing and as a “big supporter” of his daughter.

The father would drive her to and from the Singapore Sports School, and spend hours watching football matches with her. 

“He’d buy her chicken rice that she likes, have long talks with her, and watch games together. It was a very close relationship,” recalled Uma.

In 2016, Eric died in a workplace accident. He was 51.

“I was in a huge quandary because it’s not easy running along singlehandedly (as a parent) especially for sports,” said Uma. 

With Eric’s death happening just weeks before the Asian Junior and Cadet Fencing Championships in Bahrain, Uma told her daughters that they didn’t have to participate.

“The girls were devastated. And I went up to them and I said: ‘You don’t have to do it. You can take a break and regroup,’” she said.

But Amita and Aarya, aged 15 and 17 then, said they would press on.

“They said the best way to honour daddy was to participate. It’s not about winning; we want to go there, and we want to do it in his honour. Because that’s what he would have wanted us to do,” Uma said.

As fate had it, Aarya - who retired from fencing in 2017 and is now a lawyer - and Amita faced off later in the competition.

Aarya lost 15-14, and she went up to Amita to say: "You better make this victory worth it", their mother recalled.

Amita went on to win individual gold. The sisters also combined with Tatiana and Maxine Wong to win the women’s cadet team title.

Till today, Amita carries in her fencing bag an old T-shirt of Eric’s along with an album of family photos.

“She’d always say that she knows he’s gone physically, but he’s still around, giving her the courage to do what I’m doing. And she said she was going to keep that with her,” said Uma.

"NO STOPPING HER"

The question remained of where Amita would study and train overseas.

“It was hard for me because I had to think about how I was going to spend my time between one who was going away and another who was in JC1 at the time,” said Uma.

“Amita was still adamant, but that’s her. When she sets her mind to something, and if she owns it, there is usually no stopping her.”

Amita had interest from Harvard and Columbia universities but it was the University of Notre Dame’s strong sporting culture and emphasis on academics that appealed to her. 

She enrolled in 2018, before taking a gap year from August 2019 to train full-time as she tried to qualify for the Tokyo 2020 Olympics.

That same year, she became the world’s top junior fencer in the women’s foil.

Then came the news that the Olympics had to be postponed due to the COVID-19 pandemic, forcing the Singaporean to return to school and resume juggling her studies with training.

“Fencing is something that drives her in all other areas. What she takes from fencing is what helps her in her academics. To go on; to plough through,” said Uma. 

“It was challenging, very hard, especially the first year. You’ve got university academic demands, you’ve got international competitions … and you’ve got university demands for the NCAA (National Collegiate Athletics Association).”

Uma recalled how Amita needed permission from each of her subject lecturers when travelling abroad for competitions.

Given that Amita wasn't covered by a scholarship during her first year, there was also a financial toll on Uma, who drained her savings and got help from friends and family.

But she never thought twice about supporting her daughter.

“I saw the gumption in her,” said Uma. 

“She was determined, she was steadfast in what she wanted to do. She was not flaky about it, she was not half-hearted.

“There was never once she wavered, so how was I supposed to waver from that?”

Amita eventually secured financial support from her school in the years which followed, something which Uma is grateful for till today. She also benefited from an immensely supportive school coach.

“We’ve been absolutely fortunate in finding angels along the way that came and kind of directed us,” she added.

"BE A BEAST OUT THERE"

In March 2021, Amita and her university teammates won the NCAA Championships, making her the first Singaporean to win an NCAA fencing title.

She also took bronze in the individual foil event.

A month later, she again wrote her name into the history books when she became the first Singaporean fencer to qualify outright for the Olympics.

It took a nail-biting bout to get there, with Yana Alborova standing in her way in the women’s foil final at the Asia-Oceania Olympic Qualification Tournament in Tashkent, Uzbekistan.

“When it came to 14-14, I shut my laptop. I just went to pray,” recalled Uma. “My other daughter was watching and all I heard the next split second was this ear-piercing scream … ‘She won, she won!’”

It was an emotional moment for Uma, who knew how much it meant to Amita.

“We were always saying: ‘Go, just do your best. If it’s not your time, it’s not your time',” said Uma. “But I think in her own mind and heart, she had willed (herself) to qualify.”

But the COVID-delayed Tokyo Olympics was bittersweet for Uma. With spectators banned, she could only watch her daughter compete through a screen.

“I couldn’t give her a hug before she went to fence or tell her to just go give it her best and enjoy,” she said.

“She’s out there alone - like other athletes of course - but it was kind of heartbreaking … It was difficult, but there was no choice.”

An unforgiving draw meant that then-world No 60 Amita lost 15-4 to world No 5 Lee Kiefer in the round of 32.

The American, now world No 1 and a close friend of Amita's, went on to win gold.

"You're going to fall, you're going to fumble and life will throw these curveballs," said Uma. "You must be able to pick it up and run, and that is not something you can get from the books.”

Fast forward three years, and the Singaporean has risen up the ranks.

Amita secured her spot at the upcoming Olympics after finishing joint 20th in the women's foil event at the International Fencing Federation (FIE) Grand Prix in Washington in March.

The July-August Paris Games will be extra special for the Berthiers, given that Eric was born in France and Amita’s grandparents still live there.

“It’s quite exciting thinking about the fact that she’s going there. And I know if he (Eric) were around, he’d probably be even more excited than Amita,” said Uma, who'll be in the stands.

Regardless of how Amita performs at the Olympics, she has already hit all the milestones set for herself, said Uma.

“I’m truly proud of her for that. Honestly speaking, I don’t think I would have the courage to do what she’s done,” said her mother.

“I never told her about getting the Olympic medal. Nothing. All I’ve said is just to be a beast out there and know you’re as good as anyone on the strip. Just go all out.”

For Uma, it's always been about supporting her daughter in the goals she sets for herself - from childhood, through her teenage years and now as a young woman.

“(I told her) nobody can take away what you’ve done, and that’s going to be with you till the end of her life,” said Uma.

“You’ve got everything to be proud of.”