Facing adversity with courage, resilience
One is a young man who almost lost his life to cancer twice. The other, a care-giver who has given his life to care for his mentally-ill mother. Eveline Gan (eveline [at] mediacorp.com.sg) meets two inspiring men who define what true grit means.
Turning the tables on cancer
Just 25 years old, cancer research officer Tan Peng Yang has spent the past seven years defying the odds not once, but twice.
At 18, he was diagnosed with a type of leukaemia more common in the elderly. “I faced a 20 per cent chance of death and a 40 per cent chance of a relapse. To me, it was like having a failure rate of 60 per cent,” said the National University of Singapore graduate, who is among the 33 people and five patient support groups to receive the Singapore Health Inspirational Patient Award 2017 next week.
Launched in 2010, the awards pay tribute to the patients and caregivers who have shown extraordinary courage, resilience and strength in the face of adversity. Death did not frighten him, he said: “What was scarier to me was leaving my parents and a massive hospital bill behind.”
A stem cell transplant, using cord blood from the Singapore Cord Blood Bank, saved his life. To date, the non-profit public bank has facilitated 209 cord blood transplants, of which 111 were carried out in Singapore.
He suffered hair loss, vomiting and diarrhoea while enduring intensive chemotherapy and radiotherapy prior to the transplant.
The treatment, which amounted to about S$50,000, also wiped out most of his parents’ savings from toiling as hawkers. “My parents, of course, didn’t care about spending all their money,” he said. “They just wanted to save their son. But I felt bad about it.”
After the transplant, Mr Tan got his life back on track. But six months to his five-year survival milestone, the blood cancer returned.
This time, it was in the form of a rare tumour known as myeloid sarcoma, which, as the head of Department of Haematology at Singapore General Hospital William Hwang explained, are leukaemia cells that are confined to a particular organ or site.
“This time, I thought it was all over for me — time to die. I contemplated for a long time whether to tell my parents about my relapse or just wait for the cancer to kill me,” Mr Tan said.
For the second time, he underwent strong chemotherapy, which dragged on for about nine months, and suffered a near-fatal infection.
He contemplated suicide several times, but his parents and younger brothers rallied around him, providing unwavering support. “I never said this before, but I’m really grateful to my brother Elvis for stepping up to hold the family together while I was ill,” said Mr Tan, who is now in remission.
Despite the rough times, there were silver linings. For one, battling the disease spurred Mr Tan’s interest in the field of cancer research. He switched his major from chemistry to biology. Today, he is a research officer at the National Cancer Centre Singapore, hoping to make a difference to people struggling with cancer.
“If I can help just one cancer patient survive or improve his or her quality of life, then going into research is worth it,” he said.
‘I will always protect her’
Unlike most people, whose childhood elicits memories of toys, outdoor fun or playful shenanigans, 40-year-old Ang Beng Hui’s childhood memories revolve around caring for his 63-year-old mentally-ill mother.
From the tender age of seven, Mr Ang had to help care for his mum, who suffers from schizophrenia, a major psychotic illness where one cannot differentiate between reality and fantasy. “I never knew a mother’s love. My dad said I had to be independent as I was the eldest in the family,” said the technical officer.
So while other fathers taught their sons to ride a bicycle or master a sport, the elder Mr Ang taught his firstborn to monitor his mother’s symptoms, and to ensure that she took her medication regularly when he was at work.
By 14, Mr Ang was managing almost all of his mother’s medical needs on his own, including taking her to her follow-up medical appointments. “On good days, my mother could be very quiet and a nice person. But on bad days, she would cut our clothes and scold people. When I was younger, I used to get very confused by her behaviour. Later I did some research on her mental condition and learnt that she couldn’t help being like that,” he said.
Things took a turn for the worse when the elder Mr Ang fell ill in 2003. Plagued by multiple infections and kidney issues, he was bedridden in the last five years of his life.
The decade leading up to his father’s death was especially stressful for Mr Ang, who shouldered the bulk of the caregiving responsibilities for both parents while juggling a day job and part-time studies at night.
“I had no social life to speak of, but (caring for both ailing parents) was doable as long as I planned my schedule well. I told myself that I had to be strong and remain focused,” he said.
When his father died in 2013, his mother’s mental health worsened. As a nursing home would mean less freedom for his mum, he decided to hire a domestic helper to care for her.
The first hired helper did not last, but the subsequent helper did and managed to form a good relationship with his mother.
“My mother’s condition has improved tremendously ever since we got a helper. She no longer cuts up clothing and usually just mumbles to herself,” said Mr Ang. With that, he started living his life anew. He took his first overseas trip to Batam in 2015, and got married earlier this year to a woman “who is very understanding” about his mother’s condition.
Last month, his devotion was recognised at the AWWA 2017 Model Caregiver Awards. He was one of the 40 family caregivers to receive an award for tenacity, perseverance and dedication.
An active participant in caregiver workshops at the Institute of Mental Health, Mr Ang hopes that sharing his story will help other caregivers. He said: “The caregiving journey may be tough, but you can get through it if you think positive.”
