Girls remain under father's care following mum's death despite aunt's attempt to intervene

SINGAPORE: After the mother of two young girls died in 2018, the extended family stepped in to help the widower care for the girls.

However, relations between the girls' father and his sister soured after he met another woman whom he has since married.

The man's sister, the paternal aunt of the girls, commenced court proceedings seeking to be made joint guardian of the girls, now aged five and seven.

In a family court judgment made available on Friday (Feb 23), District Judge Patrick Tay threw out the aunt's application.

He found that the father had not ill-treated his daughters; instead, the girls were functioning well in his care.

THE CASE

The court heard that the mother of the two girls died in 2018 shortly after the younger girl was born.

The extended family rallied around the girls' father to support them.

The maternal grandmother took in the younger daughter, raising her for two years.

The aunt - the father's sister - provided daycare for the elder daughter until she entered childcare.

Relations between the aunt and the father soured after the man met a new partner, whom he has since married.

On May 22, 2022, things came to a head when the father tried to retrieve his daughters from the aunt's home and the aunt "frustrated his attempts", the judgment stated.

After this, the father stopped his sister from interacting with his daughters.

After this, the aunt filed multiple reports with authorities, including the police, the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF), and the Prime Minister's Office, alleging that her brother had ill-treated his daughters.

As a result, MSF's Child Protective Service (CPS) investigated the man and interviewed his daughters. 

But CPS found that the daughters were "functioning well" and found no basis to intervene in their father's care.

After CPS made these findings, the aunt launched a court bid to be made a joint guardian of the girls.

She asked for access to them and for care and control of them. She also asked for a child representative to be appointed to assess the girls' psychological state while under the care of their father.

THE AUNT'S CLAIMS

The aunt claimed to be the "long-standing caregiver" of the girls and said her brother was deficient in caring for them, due to the "involvement" of his new wife.

The aunt claimed that her brother was "unable and unfit" to parent the daughters, alleging that he had "alienated himself from the paternal side of the family".

She also raised other allegations which the judge said "were of limited relevance", such as not giving his own mother regular allowance and "showed no appreciation and gratitude" towards herself and the maternal grandmother by cutting them off despite knowing that they loved and cared for the girls.

She also claimed that her brother confused his elder daughter by enrolling her in a Catholic school despite proclaiming himself to be a staunch Buddhist.

She speculated that her brother's new wife had forced her brother to remove his late wife's portraits in the matrimonial home and envied the aunt bringing porridge for the girls because the new wife did not know how to cook for the girls.

"Ultimately, these allegations reflected her disdain for the father and his new wife rather than a concern for the welfare of his daughters," said Judge Tay.

The aunt also alleged that her brother made his daughters sleep on double-decker beds, with the younger one falling off and hitting her head.

She also said her brother refused to question why the elder daughter had stitches on her chin after an accident while in childcare.

The judge said these injuries were the product of accidents and the man's adoption of "such a rugged parenting approach was well within the remit of his parental authority and responsibility".

The aunt also alleged that the man prioritised his new wife's pet dogs over his daughters, did not feed his daughters milk and inflicted harsh punishment on them.

The judge said there was little evidence of this. On the milk point, the father clarified that he was following the advice of his daughters' dentist, as the elder daughter's teeth was decaying and she should not be feeding from a bottle at her age.

JUDGE'S FINDINGS

Judge Tay found on the evidence that the father had cared for his daughters "ably", raising and housing them since their births except for the two years after their mother's death when the younger daughter lived with her grandmother.

The judge found that the man provided his daughters "a stable and secure family environment that conduced to their healthy development" - first with their mother and now with his new wife.

"As the CPS observed in a reply to the aunt on 10 July 2023, following repeated emails from her on the parenting of the father, the daughters were regular in their school attendance, participating in school activities, socialising well, and were in general functioning well," said Judge Tay.

Even if a joint guardian was to be appointed for the girls, it was unclear if the aunt should be the one appointed, since her relationship with the girls' father was "fraught with acrimony".

"Inserting her into the sphere of the parental authority and responsibility of the father by compelling him to make decisions on the daughters jointly with her would introduce needless volatility in the lives of the daughters," said Judge Tay.

He granted the father's costs order of S$5,000 (US$3,723) against the aunt.

Judge Tay cited another case where a mother was rebuked by a court for involving the machinery of the state in essentially what was a parental disagreement.

"Regrettably, this was precisely what had been done here by the aunt, who as a non-parent of the daughters had even less basis to disagree with the parenting decisions of their surviving father," said the judge. 

"She complained about the father to the police and the CPS, and when those complaints did not produce her desired result, sent an 'appeal' to the Prime Minister's Office."

These complaints subjected the girls to interviews, and their father to investigations that disclosed no basis to intervene in his parenting, said the judge.

"It would be in the interests of herself and of the daughters, whom she professes to love, for her to begin respecting the parenting authority and responsibility of their father," said Judge Tay.

The aunt has filed an appeal against the decision.