He knew I cared about my family — and used that to scam me out of S$77,000
When single nurse Pan Han Ni started chatting with a man named Chen Xi, he seemed eager to meet up. So she gave in when he asked her to play an online game.
For Pan Han Ni, it started with "just" S$100 - and snowballed to S$77,000. (Photo: Eileen Chew/CNA)
Name: Pan Han Ni, 34
Status: Single, nurse, Malaysian living in Singapore
I still remember the day I joined Coffee Meets Bagel: Feb 28, 2022.
My friend introduced it to me after she’d met her boyfriend on the app. She told me I needed to expand my social circle, and who knows? Maybe I could meet someone too.
I spend most of my time on my job as a nurse, plus volunteer work, online classes and exercise, so I don’t have time to meet other people. I was living alone in Singapore at the time, while my family were in Malaysia.
The first person I matched with was a man named Chen Xi. From his profile picture, he wasn’t super handsome like a celebrity, but I thought he was friendly and looked gentlemanly.
He said hi. It was around 11pm and I was working, so he asked, “Why do you work so late? You must be very passionate about your work.”
We chatted and continued on WhatsApp. It was a lot of fun, and I felt he had a sense of humour.
HE WAS BELIEVABLE AND SWEET
Chen Xi told me he was working in Singapore — in e-commerce in the clothing industry — and gave me his residential block and street number in Yishun.
When it was raining once, he told me he’d gone running and slipped. It felt like he was really in Singapore.
He even said we should meet for Korean food in two weeks after he found out that I liked Korean food.
We spoke for five days, and he said sweet things to me. He told me I looked cute, and that we were a good match. He got to know my background, my personality and my likes and dislikes. He showed a lot of concern for me, like asking me if I’d eaten.
I had a good impression of him. He used classical Chinese phrases, words that sounded very good. He would even call me and sing songs to me.
Listen: Han Ni on why she responded to “Chen Xi”
At one point, he asked me why I was single. When I said it was because I was busy with work, he told me I was the kind of girl he was looking for, and that he was also looking for a serious relationship. He said other girls on the app just wanted to play around.
He told me about his past relationships that didn’t end well. I felt sorry for him.
We talked from morning till night, and I started feeling comfortable with him. I thought we could get along as friends even if it didn’t become a relationship.
HE WAS DIFFERENT FROM OTHER SCAMMERS I’D ENCOUNTERED
I’d actually encountered scammers twice before. First time round, it was a friend I made on Facebook.
He said he was from Japan and that he wanted to come and see me while he was travelling. After less than a month, he said he’d sent me a package with money inside, and it was stuck at customs. He sounded a bit panicky and asked for RM4,000 (S$1,250).
I didn’t think too much — I just gave him what I had in the bank. He asked me to borrow from my friends, but I found that suspicious, so I stopped.
Second time round, it was a Korean guy on Tinder. He said he was working in the United Kingdom, so we spoke in English. But I got suspicious when I tried to speak a bit of Korean and he didn’t understand. I deleted and blocked him straight away.
Chen Xi, however, gave the impression that we were in the same country and that we’d meet in person in a few days. That’s why I thought it was fine when he asked me to bet on a game.
HE PRESSURED ME FOR DAYS
At first, he said, why not play a small online game? He showed me his account and tried to get me to download the app and join, but I refused. I’m a Buddhist, and my religion doesn’t allow me to gamble.
But he told me these were investments. He said, “Why are you so silly? Everyone should have their own investments, (like) having a second job or extra earnings besides their main job. This is quite normal for everyone.”
I’m the kind of person who cares about my family and friends; I was also supporting my family financially. He said I could gift them the money I earned from the game.
He also said that if we get together in future, we could have a better life with this money. I refused many times. I even told him how I was scammed last time.
He wanted me to put in S$100 and said, “Why can’t you just use this S$100 to buy that trust (in him)?” He made me feel like it was just a small sum, so it wouldn’t make much difference if I lost it.
I felt bad that I didn’t trust him.
For three days, he kept asking me to put in the S$100. I was quite stressed out — to the point that I wasn’t sleeping and I broke out in a rash.
I couldn’t take it any more, so I told myself: “Okay. It’s just S$100.”
FROM S$100 TO S$50,000
After I put this in, I was able to withdraw S$110. It gave me the impression that I could earn and withdraw money every time.
He asked me to put in S$1,000. I didn’t want him to stress me out any more, so I agreed.
We started the game with the “Beginner’s Room”. I had to put in a minimum of S$1,000. Then he said there was a problem with the room, and he wanted me to move to the next room, which required a minimum sum of S$10,000. So I topped up the difference.
We’d played one or two games when he suddenly mentioned that there was a three-day activity. I needed to top up my account to S$50,000 in those three days to stand a chance of winning S$2,559.
I didn’t have enough money, but he told me to borrow from my friends and family, then when I returned their money, I could treat them and give my parents gifts. He persuaded me by saying that this reward was hard to come by and that he wouldn’t ask me to put more money in after this.
He said I shouldn’t tell my friends why I needed the money because if everyone tried to play the game, we wouldn’t be able to win the prize.
Instead, he told me to say, “Something urgent came up, and I need to borrow a few thousand dollars. I’ll give it back to you very fast — in a few days.”
In total, I borrowed about S$40,000 from nine friends.
STUCK AND STYMIED
My friends didn’t ask a lot of questions, I think because they trusted me. Some of them sent me the money directly. Only a few asked if anything was wrong, but I just said I needed it urgently.
Just before they gave away the prize, Chen Xi told me the system was stuck, so our accounts were frozen. He told me to contact the app’s customer service, which told me to put in 50 per cent of my account balance.
I had about S$70,000 including what I had earned from the app, so I needed another S$35,000.
I was feeling panicky, but Chen Xi said he’d take responsibility and chip in some money. It seemed as if he was really borrowing money from his clients and friends. He put in S$10,000 and told me to add on while he tried to raise more money.
In total, he ‘put in’ about S$20,000, while I put in S$15,000. But when we’d done so, customer service said they needed another S$10,000 for outstanding tax.
I broke down. Why was it never-ending?
But Chen Xi continued to reassure me. He said it was only S$10,000 and then I could get all my money back. He also said I shouldn’t panic because he was also playing, and his own money was stuck in the game.
I asked him to lend me his bank balance to unfreeze my account; then I could lend him my money to unfreeze his own account.
He couldn’t answer, which I found suspicious. But I accepted his excuse of having already paid S$20,000 out of the S$35,000.
I borrowed money again from my friends to pay the S$10,000. After I tried to make a withdrawal, the app showed that the amount left was zero. When the money still wasn’t deposited into my bank account after a few hours, I started to panic.
I told Chen Xi a few times that I wanted to make a police report, but he stopped me. He said this was something with which the police couldn’t help me.
Every time I contacted customer services, they were formal and polite. But they always had different excuses. I remember one time they said system maintenance was ongoing. Another time, they said my account was still being processed, so please be patient.
My queue number was 986. They said there were many clients to clear, but I could pay another S$10,000 for the VIP green lane. I felt that I’d paid a lot of money already, so I waited. The next day, the queue moved by only three people, so I was number 983.
At this point, I realised it was definitely a scam and I should wake up. That was when I made a police report.
‘WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB?’
It was a huge lesson for me.
I’d lost my savings and had to pay my friends back. I’m working part-time in two jobs to do that.
Thankfully, my family and friends are supportive. They said I could pay them back slowly, even if it takes five or 10 years.
But as I told my friends what happened, one of them asked me: “Why are you so dumb? Are you so desperate for guys? Do you really want love so much?”
I think she was concerned, but I don’t think what she said is true. It’s just that he knew how to use my weak points — my love for my family and friends — and he put me under a lot of pressure, as if I was being brainwashed for days and couldn’t think straight.
If my friends had asked me if it could be a scam, or if I minded sharing what kind of investment it was - it could’ve made me think twice.
One of them did ask detailed questions, like whether I was in any trouble and whether it was because of a family issue or something else. Only then did I think this might be a scam. But I had put the money in already.
WATCH: I Was Scammed Of $77k - Here’s What You Need To Learn From My Story (6.02)
I think something I learnt from the experience is that I kept everything that was happening to myself. But maybe if I hadn’t, and the more people would’ve listened to my story, the more they could’ve helped me analyse it.
I told my story to Shin Min Daily News, and after it came out, some of my friends disclosed that they’d been scammed before but didn’t report it. This is one of the reasons I want to share my experience more widely.
When I suspected that it was a scam, I looked for similar cases in the news but couldn’t find anything. So I think it’s important for victims to speak out in order to increase public awareness.
Listen: Han Ni on why she’s going public with her story
I hope my story can alert people in a similar situation so that they won’t fall into a scammer’s trap. If I can reduce the number of victims by just one, it would be worth it.
Many people can’t imagine themselves as potential victims. I was once one of them. But I think we underestimate scammers. They’ll tailor their chat strategies, for example, to the person.
I think they’re good at psychology. Even a highly educated professional might get scammed. It’s not that we’re too dumb — it’s because they’re too good, and we shouldn’t think that we won’t become the next victim.
