Commentary: Why are women expected to dress a certain way once they hit 50?
The fashion police tend to come down harder on ladies after they hit a certain age. While some rules for older women are silly, there are thresholds when it comes to dressing appropriately, says lifestyle writer Tracy Lee.
SINGAPORE: We’re all familiar with how parents of teenaged daughters might say, “Young lady, you’re not going out looking like that.”
But most young women get away with wearing Jibbit-infested Crocs, baggy tees over short shorts, and dresses containing more negative space than fabric - all in the name of youthful exuberance and bold experimentation. Whereas the fashion police tend to come down a lot harder on women after they hit a certain age.
While discussing ageing and the expectations people have of older women in their YouTube series Wonder & Wellness, former models Jade Seah, 40, and Sheila Sim, 39, touched on the rules society imposes on older women: For instance, that women 50 and above cannot have long hair nor wear crop tops.
A Google search of “what not to wear for women over 50” throws up many more restrictions, ranging from too much cleavage, baggy and oversized clothes, to elastic waistbands.
Women who ignore these rules risk derision. We all have an older aunt or neighbour whom we might gossip about because of their overly skimpy Zumba outfits, circle contact lenses and heavy makeup.
But is it fair to criticise women for not dressing their age?
SARTORIAL SOUL-SEARCHING
I used to have a set idea of what a mature woman should look like - until I turned 50 last year and embarked on some sartorial soul-searching.
When I was 30 and worked in women’s magazines, I decided the de facto uniform of my future 50-year-old self would be smart Chanel skirt suits, slim sheath dresses and V-neck sweaters over classic pencil skirts.
But I did not consider that a global pandemic might kill off power dressing and turn athleisure into the status quo, or that climate change and menopausal hot flashes would make figure-hugging or long-sleeved outfits uncomfortable.
Fashion standards for mature women aside, we must come to terms with the realities of our changing bodies.
Clothes shopping, an activity I relished from my teens through mid-forties, has ceased being fun as the latest trends no longer fit nor flatter. My waistline isn’t as defined, formerly-cavernous clavicles and armpits now seem stuffed with marshmallows, and loose skin - or possibly flab - spills out the sides and back of my non-wired bralettes.
Going for a proper bra fitting - something recommended by fashion blogs for older women – was another rude shock. The sales assistant explained to me that menopause makes breasts migrate to the strangest places, and handed me a sturdy, matronly undergarment with the widest wings I’d ever seen.
I protested, but she insisted it would make my clothes fit better. She was right and I bought six.
FINDING WHAT WORKS FOR YOU
Rather than abiding by arbitrary rules like hemlines at knee length and beyond (a silly rule; Tina Turner rocked short skirts into her 70s), perhaps the takeaway for older women would be to wear what works for them.
We can still experiment with on-trend styles or prints - but what matters is dressing according to our body type.
Homemaker Annabelle Lim-McDonald, 57, opts for comfort above all, while trying to be current. She has always loved dresses, but the ones she buys nowadays from high street stores such as Zara and Marks & Spencer are looser and longer. She shies away from spaghetti straps because she’s self-conscious about her “chicken wing arms”.
She agrees with her daughter’s complaints about older women who wear outfits that are too short and revealing. “This need to look like a teenager tends to come across as a desperate denial that we are getting on,” she says, naming “butt cheeks poking out from the bottom of short shorts” and “cellulite on show” as pet peeves.
These thresholds don’t only apply to women - she feels the same distaste for the MAMILs (Middle-Aged Men In Lycra) who stop by her favourite cafes for a meal post-bike ride.
Luxury marketing catalyst Monica Alsagoff, 59, admires Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez because “they dress appropriately for their age but still ooze sex appeal”.
Yet she has her own personal, non-conformist style. She favours hats, chunky accessories, funky sneakers and vintage pieces. She has dyed her hair in all kinds of colours, from brown, blue and purple to platinum blonde.
As for me, I’ve decided that rather than follow fashion trends, I’m just going to dress according to my lifestyle. T-shirts and tank tops paired with shorts or tights for long walks, yoga, high-intensity interval training (HIIT) and staying home. Polo shirts and skorts for golf and running errands. Easy, breezy dresses for beach vacations, lunches with girlfriends and dinner parties.
No matter what anyone says, I still believe elasticated-waist jeggings are great for moving about. I will keep my shoulder-length hair the way it is - not because it makes me look younger, but because it’s more low-maintenance than a short crop.
And when those six ugly, gigantic bras break down, I’ll just get six more.
Tracy Lee is a freelance writer based in Singapore who writes about food, travel, fashion and beauty.
