‘Foster parents must know they are not alone’
Foster parents Rajev Valayutham and Audrey Lourdes Thomas with their biological son Jarryl, 17, and foster child BJ, 10, in their home. Photo: Don Wong
A flyer on volunteer work that she came across while waiting for her son at his kindergarten led Madam Audrey Lourdes Thomas to join the Fostering Scheme in 2004.
“I’ve always wanted to do volunteer (work), but I didn’t know which path to take. I felt that I’m better in helping younger children,” said the 46-year-old housewife, who has played foster mum to about 10 children in the past decade.
For Mdm Joy Shuo, the desire to allow children without proper homes to experience the joys of growing up with a loving family, like her own four children did, led her to join the Ministry of Social and Family Development’s (MSF) scheme.
She found the experience of watching her first foster child grow up so fulfilling that the 36-year-old working mother, who manages human resource matters in a church, decided to approach the MSF for a second foster baby.
The two of them said to ease the worries of potential foster parents, they should be told from the start that they would receive proper support and specialised training.
A network of foster parents or mentors who have been through the process will make the journey more enjoyable for the new foster parents, said Mdm Shou, who is part of an informal support group for foster parents.
Mdm Thomas said she was surprised to find support given to foster parents like her. “We have trainings, we have parent support groups and if you have any queries, your foster coordinator is there — so you’re never alone,” said the mother of one.
Her husband, Mr Rajev Valayutham, said he had initially agreed to the idea of foster parenting so his wife would have someone to keep her company at home. But the changes the couple noticed in their foster children motivated them to continue with the volunteer work.
The 48-year-old operation technician added: “You give them love and you can see that these children change.” Laura Philomin
