The quiet, but caring, sibling

With a father who gambled and was occasionally prone to a violent temper, a young Lee Kuan Yew grew up faster. In his early teens, as the eldest son, he was co-opted by his mother to be the de facto head of the Peranakan family.

“My three brothers, Dennis, Freddy and Suan Yew, a sister, Monica, and I have all benefited from a strong, resourceful and determined mother who ensured that we were educated to the best of our abilities and her resources …

“My siblings and I are especially close to each other. I was not just the eldest brother, but also the one who helped our mother make the major decisions,” Mr Lee said. After growing up and going their own ways, they kept in touch, meeting at least twice a year.

Mr Lee Suan Yew described the family as tight-knit, particularly during the war years. His oldest brother, then 19, taught him chess when he was nine.

While his other siblings were more active, Mr Lee Suan Yew said his oldest brother was quieter, “more of a bookworm, the scholar”. He was “a really responsible person, very wise and always willing to give advice to us at any time we say we would like to meet him”. But Mr Lee would never instruct his siblings on what to do. “He will never say ‘do this do that’, very seldom. He’ll just give you the idea and you decide.”

He was also very particular. One day, Dennis used his shoes without permission and did not clean them upon returning, which aroused the eldest’s ire, Mr Lee Suan Yew recalled. “There was no end to that story. From that day, all of us knew that we must not touch his things unless we got permission. But he’s not selfish. You can use his things, but he feels that you must ask his permission and then return them as you found them.” (He was also “furious” once when he returned after being ragged as a freshman at Raffles College, with his white shirt and trousers all dirty, Mr Lee Suan Yew recalled.)

After entering politics, Mr Lee made a special effort to have dinners with the extended family, especially on birthdays. He also had a “very soft spot” for their only sister. “He’d always be very protective of her and make sure that she’s well cared for.”