Different flags, same team: How two silat exponents from Singapore and Malaysia found love
"He will support Malaysia (when Singapore faces Malaysia), but will always show up for me," said Siti Khadijah Shahrem.
Siti Khadijah Shahrem represents Singapore, while Muhamad Helmi Basrol competes for Malaysia. (Photo: CNA/Matthew Mohan)
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SINGAPORE: Whenever Singapore athlete Siti Khadijah Shahrem competes, only two voices cut through the noise.
One is that of her cornerman, and the other is that of a fellow silat exponent who represents a different country.
But Muhamad Helmi Basrol is more than just a fellow athlete.
The 26-year-old, who competes for Malaysia, is Khadijah’s confidante, support system and her husband.
“When you’ve (locked in), it is very quiet. But the only person I focus on besides my cornerman … is him,” Khadijah told CNA.
“His voice accompanies me during my fights.”
"LOVELY TO WATCH"
An accomplished athlete, Khadijah has represented the country at various top international silat competitions.
She clinched a bronze at the 2018 Asian Games, took various medals at the World Pencak Silat Championships (2018 and 2022) and was nominated for Sportswoman of the Year at the 2023 Singapore Sports Awards.
The pair first got to know each other at the Asian Pencak Silat Championship in 2023.
“There was a certain interest (in each other). We didn’t show it so much, but we started getting closer as friends,” said Khadijah.
“We got comfortable with each other and from there, we looked forward to meeting each other at other competitions.”
While the pair also admired the way each other competed, little did Khadijah know that her future husband was already a fan.
“I always viewed her as an ‘idol’ when I watched her on TV, YouTube or TikTok,” said Helmi, who has won various medals at the Asian level. “And I liked her gameplay.”
“I enjoy watching him fight and that drew my attention,” said Khadijah. “(I liked) the charisma he carries. I don’t usually enjoy watching other people fight … but he was lovely to watch.”
SEEKING VALUABLE ADVICE
While Khadijah and Helmi are no strangers to the taste of victory, it was the disappointment of defeat that brought them closer.
After a 2024 competition where both fighters were eliminated early, they ran into each other in Kuala Lumpur and spent half a day together.
"(With him) I surprisingly found comfort that I never felt for very long. It's hard for me to open up, but it was easy for me to open up to him," she said.
But as the relationship blossomed, there was the concern of a conflict of interest, given that the pair represent different countries.
While they kept things under wraps at first, Khadijah sought the advice of her head coach Rafili Ramli.
"He gave me 100 per cent support but he also reminded me that ... at competition, you have to be professional," recalled Khadijah.
Others in the community were also very supportive, said Helmi. This includes Helmi's coach Siti Rahmah, who was previously an opponent of Khadijah's.
"She reminded us that we are each other's semangat (spirit), and from there, we both knew that our relationship was being blessed," Khadijah said.
At international tournaments, the pair avoids hanging out with one another, but remains each other's pillars of support.
Said Khadijah: "He will support Malaysia (when Singapore faces Malaysia), but will always show up for me."
A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON
Having a spouse who is present through the highs and lows is invaluable, said Khadijah.
"If I cry, no one else can understand but him. He knows the pain of the sport, he knows the hardships that I went through. He knows how difficult the sport is."
"It's best because I can take care of her," added Helmi.
Khadijah recalled Helmi provided a "boost" when she was injured at the 2024 Asian Pencak Silat Championship.
"Despite knowing that I would perform poorly because I could not punch (well), I still had the confidence and comfort ... knowing he was there," she said.
"He doesn't turn my weakness around to criticise me. In the sporting world, where everything seems to be very competitive, what he does is give me the shoulder to lean on."
And when she made the switch from silat to wushu for the 2025 SEA Games, Helmi gave his full support, Khadijah said.
She eventually became Singapore's first female wushu exponent to win a sanda medal at the SEA Games, after clinching joint-bronze. Helmi also finished with a silver in the silat class E (65-70kg) category.
Currently, Helmi spends his weekdays at a national team training camp in Nilai while Khadijah, who trains in Singapore five times a week, regularly commutes across the Causeway.
While the travelling may seem like a chore, it is just part of the sacrifice required to be an athlete, she said.
"We both still respect each other's dreams and goals," said Khadijah. "He wants me to achieve what I want."
